What happens when you leave me in a car alone for 9 hours

These are the thoughts, opinions (apparently of which I have too many), memories, commentary, etc. I had on my drive from Lima, NY to my beloved Portland, ME.

*McDonald's milkshakes will never taste the way they did when you were a kid.

*A Barenaked Ladies mixed tape is enough to entertain me for quite sometime in the car. I sing so so so much to it. I am a total fool in the car alone. Yes, yes, I don’t need to be in a car alone to be a total fool. Pipe down out there.

*I have a theory about the Weasley family. JK Rowling, or Jo as I like to call her, has said that Harry is not the heir to Gryffindor. I think the Weasleys are. Ok, let’s break it down. Red hair—red color of the house. Pure Blood – could bring the line through. There is this whole King Arthur thing going on with the names of the kids and the dad – might indicate there is some type of royalty going on.

*I found some old mixed tapes in my bedroom. One was just marked “Fun” and it did not lie, good road tunes that made me speed. Especially Beck and the only Joan Osbourne song I like: Right Hand Man. Another tape had the first side of me reciting “The Road Less Traveled” over and over and over again. I think I had to recite it in 10th grade, so I practiced on the tape. What was a little weird about it is that old tapes sometimes give way to what was recorded before it. So there was this ocean relaxation tape under it that would fade in and out. It was almost to artsy for its own good. The other half of the tape and another tape were all songs I taped off the radio. I remember sitting for hours in my bedroom reading or writing and sitting with one hand on the record button just incase a good song came on. Apparently my idea of good has changed drastically over the years. Some of the mix included: Justified and Ancient -- KLF, a Vanessa Williams song, Can’t Cry Hard Enough (three times on one side), Tears in Heaven (five times), etc.

*It was Eric Clapton’s day on the radio, every city was playing him on at least two or three stations in a 10 minute span of each other. Mostly Tears in Heaven, but if I was lucky – it was Wonderful Tonight. Yeah, cheese, but I love that song.

*I may be totally biased, but I have a theory that people who attented Fredonia and loved it have a unique quality: a great sense of adventure and thirst for life. Everyone from hippie to preppie, seems to possess this. I have socialized with a great cross section of people there, and I think that the people who were able to love the place and love the people there all were ready for anything. Totally biased, but hell, there is a reason I call it the Motherland.

*Emoticons annoy me, but I still can’t help using the occasional smiley. It’s a sickness, I know.

*I eat a lot of carrots on road trips. I know they don’t stain your teeth, but I feel like I might smile orange anyway.

*One of the things about kissing that just absolutely melts me: when you or the kissee smile in the middle of it. Because you’re just so happy to be kissing that person or just to be in that moment. You can’t help it, the smile pulls your lips away from the task at hand but bulldogs could not pull you away from the contact of that person’s mouth from yours. It pauses the whole kiss but just makes it that much more honeyed.

*Grandmas can say whatever they want. Especially ones that raised ten kids. And she is totally adorable doing it too. She is mighty feisty in that baking-sweet-no crap kinda way.


I am sure I had many many more thoughts on the road, but this is a sampling. Some of them are not FCC approved. And you know how I hate paperwork.

Poem by Molly Peacock

Afraid

Hell, I'm afraid I'll be afraid of your voice,
that's why I don't call (and because I'd like
to be grown-up about my phone bill, choice
being a signal of adulthood.)! Like
something papery, but stiff, I think
your voice will sound, like the end of a tablet
of paper, no more whiteness or lines set
in sheer availibility. My heart will sink
when I see the gray cardboard backing staring
at me, unblinking, the way I think your voice
will stare, if voices stared, gray and uncaring.
I wish you were here. I'd ask your advice
about whether to call. You'd put your arm
around me and we'd talk, our voices warm,
about whether it would do us any harm.

--Molly Peacock

Awkward!

It has been decided that there is a new device to get yourself out of an uncomfortable situation.

Simply say in a sing-songy voice: "Awkward!" and you are able to break tension and get out of the situation.

When might this be appropriate:
*You trip on the sidewalk and everyone around you is silent
*You go out to dinner with another couple and they proceed to fight in front of you
*Your co-worker wants to show you pictures of their cat, again.
*You just spilled red wine on your boss' white shirt

And so on.

Rules of the Awkward:
1. Use it sparingly. Life is uncomfortable people, but if you yell awkward all the time, you are bound to be on the receiving end more often than not.
2. If you are on the receiving end of an awkward, don't take it personally. Just accept it and move on. Change the topic of conversation, let the proclaimer leave, etc.
3. You must must must say it in the sing-songy tone. Otherwise it is invalid.


Spread the word. You will thank me later.

Poem by Hart Crane

Forgetfulness

Forgetfulness is like a song
That, freed from beat and measure, wanders.
Forgetfulness is like a bird whose wings are reconciled,
Outspread and motionless--
A bird that coasts the wind unwearyingly.

Forgetfulness is rain at night,
Or an old house in a forest,--or a child.
Forgetfulness is white,--white as a blasted tree,
And it may stun the sybil into prophecy,
Or bury the Gods.

I can remember much forgetfulness.

--Hart Crane

Time waster #209

You can find a new name for yourself, and here are some of the beauties I found:

Ulf Maryland
Devorah Blossom
Gin Trinh
Denim Adonica
Cynzia Komala
Virika Nuala
Gabi Irish
Erasto Precious
Gemini Winda

Name Creator

The obligatory Thanksgiving list of things I am thankful for.

Being that this is the first Thanksgiving in my whole life that I have been without my family, I am feeling a little sadsack. I am making myself a dinner of sweet potatoes and burritos and playing massive ammounts of video games. So here is my list of things that I am thankful for:

*Borrowing Saucier's x-box and a cheap used copy of Fable
*Sweet Potatoes
*NO football on thanksgiving for the first time ever
*Overalls
*Lots of Harry Potter in 2005 - new book, new movie, this geek fan girl is in Hogwarts Heaven
*Getting once acceptance letter that was just amazingly crazy and lovely
*Veronica Mars
*My family -- you know if you don't say it you will just have guilt. Plus it's true.
*Finishing the blanket I was crocheting. Now I just have to give it!
*Bubble Baths
*Joss Whedon
*Bush's low approval rating. If only the presidency was like American Idol.
*Friends... once again needs to be said, but honestly I think I know some of the most interesting people. They are a cornucopia of quirk, laughter, compassion, and good times.
*Going to see the Barenaked Ladies on Dec 1st
*...and a lot of other things profound and no-so that I would rather meditate and think about myself. Despite some bumps and possible scary changes going on, I have a good life. I have many things that make me happy, and could ask for more, but won't because I think that learning to love what you have and appreciate it is one of the hardest things a person, especially an American, can learn.

Poem by Tom Chandler

To the woman at the Red Edge Motel

Some tourist of love
in his cheap suit of longing
will elbow the bar
in the lounge of no last names,
dip his cuff accidentally
in your seven & seven
and ask you to dance
to the faint moan of muzak,
perfume your earrings
with breath mints and gin
as the lights grow yet dimmer
as his hand on the switch
hovers inches away
from the slick red edge
of your hungover heart
with its faded no vacancy sign.

--Tom Chandler


And for exciting poet news: Garrison Keillor is going to read some of Robin Merrill's poems on The Writers Almanac on Wednesday November 23rd and Sunday the 27th!

Sad Bastard songs

I was realizing the other day I really have a penchant for the sad bastard category of songs. I take the term from theJack Black line in High Fidelity. And it's not like I listen to them to be depressed, it's just that I prefer them in general. They just soothe me and I also think that those songs have the better lyrics as well, the closer to poetry really.

Here is a sampling of my sad bastard tunes:

Tell Her This - Del Amitri
Overkill - Colin Hay
If I wrote you - Dar Williams
Miss you til I meet you - Dar Williams
Let him fly - Patti Griffin
#41 - Dave Matthews Band
Wicked Little Town - Hedwig and the angry inch
Origin of Love - Hedwig and the angry inch
Lover, you should have come over - Jeff Buckley
Lilac wine - Jeff Buckley
My Funny Valentine -- (prefer the slower covers that take a melancholy voice)
Mystery - Indigo Girls
Fare thee well - Indigo Girls
That's All - Mel Torme
Wonderwall - Oasis
This Hotel Room - The Poem Adept
Trouble - Ray Lamontagne
Arms of a Woman - Amos Lee
Your Cloud - Tori Amos
China - Tori Amos
You and I both - Jason Mraz
Helicopters - Barenaked Ladies
The Great Provider - Barenaked Ladies
Aluminum - Barenaked Ladies
For You - Barenaked Ladies
Love will come through - Travis

Yeah, I am a sap sometimes when it comes to my music. But, I will never have a Celine Dion original on there. Honestly, I think hell is eating McDonalds burgers with the old stryofoam containers in place bread and meat with a side beverage of Walmart mop bucket water, wearing burlap leotards and wool underwear thongs in a flaming hot room with poison ivy and pink eye listening to Celine sing on a firey stage while you are locked into your chair.
Yes, that is my hell.

The most splendid

Since I was a small child I've felt that little inaminate things were very wise, that they had their own kind of wisdom, something to teach me if I would only pay the right kind of attention to them.... I don't look at anything as being insignificant. I that's another overlooked gift of poetry. Many times people imagine that poets wait fro some splendid experience to overttake them, but I think the tiniest moments are the most splendid.

--Naomi Shihab Nye

Caption contest

So you might not win anything persay, but let's think of some very interesting captions that could go with this picture. I have been finding a lot of retro images lately, and they are irrestible.

Sara Recommends

Born Into Brothels
This documentary is one of those testaments to what art can mean to anyone, regardless of status. In India, there are children that are born and raised in brothels, where violence and crime are part of their daily life. Many of the girls there are also destined for the life of their mothers, even at an early age. There was a small group of kids that were given cameras and taught photography. Some of the pictures they take are so beautiful and honest and unafraid. Its frustrating to watch the woman who teaches them try to get them an education and a path out of the brothel life. This film has a delicate balance between the pain and the joy of their experience through the photography.

Ok Go - Oh No
For those of you who have not seen the video for "A Million Ways", you must. This four person band dances in their backyard. The choreography is inspired and celebrates the human body... well not really, but it does celebrate geek-tinted hipsters dancing in vintage suits. I only wish I could dance like that. I picked up the album the other day, and its pretty solid. Fun, just poppy enough, and catchy beats.

Squirt of lime juice in your water bottle
I am so over lemon. It's all about the lime. Lemon sometimes reminds me of household cleaners. Lime: tangy and gives your water a little kick. Even the lime juice that comes in the bottle will do the trick. Ideally, I would have the slice of it, the little pulp floating around your water looking like a citrus snowglobe.

Marshal from Alias
So, I have started my new TV show addiction. I watched Six Feet Under obsessively and am oh so calmly waiting for the arrival of season 5 on DVD. Now, I am onto Alias. I finished Season 1 in a weekend. I have just finished the first disc of Season 2 and Netflix cannot send the next ones to me fast enough. (so if you know anything, don't be a bastard and spoil future eps for me, I am going as fast as I can) I just can't get enough of the women kicking ass. I have even started having spy dreams. But, I have found the love of my life on that show: Marshal. Some might think that Michael Vartan or Bradley Cooper might be the apple of my eye, and they are adorable, but no no, its the character of Marshal that makes this geekess' heart flutter. He is imaginative, a genius, and so excited when explaining his nerd-ventions. I might as well be twelve, still have my head-gear and cut out a collage for my wall. Hmmm...


Reading any comic Tony Scribner recommends to you
He is my comic guru. Seriously, I don't think that I have ever not liked what he has given to me: Alias, Fables, Identity Crisis, Batman: The Killing Joke, Batman: The Long Halloween, Ex Machina, and last night he hands me four JSA's all with a well, well endowed Power Girl on the cover. Yowz-sa! He can give me all the good dirt on the writers and such. I respect what he reads alot because he follows the writers more so than the characters most of the time. I bow to you, Tony.


Not laughing your ass off until the girls loudly discussing their denial and secret admissions of anal sex have completely walked by your office
I am not making this stuff up folks.

I heart words

Thanks to Shannon for this amazing new innovation in vocabulary:

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition........Here are this year's 2005 winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Out in the Kitchen

Out in the Kitchen

Jennell is working on this fantastic project: a cookbook with families at the center, namely GLBTA families. Considering the government and some people will not recognize or respect different definitions and variations on family, it is very important that GLBTA and others are able to hold onto what they see and live everyday. Food is at the center of any family, corn-bred or punk, and why not celebrate that!

Online interactions

So, of course being the sweet single I am, I try online dating with little success. But I am curious about something. In the past two weeks, I have gotten "winks" from 3 guys: all fans of NASCAR.

Now, for those that don't know me, I possess little to no characteristics that would make me a NASCAR lover. I even got my driver's license late. I failed it 4 times! I think ESPN is a nuisance when I am flipping through channels. Circles make me dizzy. I can't even manuever in Grand Theft Auto. I hit pedestrians and got motion sick.

Not that there is anything really wrong with NASCAR, I am just puzzled with the connection.

Cheers to Dover, PA

Eight of the nine school board members up for re-election (all Republicans, all voting in favor of intelligent design) were ousted by voters and replaced with Democratic candidates.

I take this quote from the CNN article today:

Intelligent design holds that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by some kind of higher force. The statement read to students says Charles Darwin's theory is "not a fact" and has inexplicable "gaps.


Yes, you radical evangelicals.... theory is theory. It is never fact. Any scientist will tell you that there is no absolute truth or fact, just correlations and relationships. (and if there are any scientists out there that will tell me I am wrong, forgive me I am remembering 11th grade Chemistry with Mr. Pike) Just like intelligent design is not a fact, it's a theory. THEORY! In all honesty, I don't think we know what the hell happened, but there is a lot more data to back up evolution, verus a diety creating something in a wink. Separate your church from our state, and teach what you want at home. You have every right to believe it. Heck, you may be right... but until I see it, I am going with the more pausible theory.

Sorry, the victory of NO on 1 has me all high like a 5 year old on a grape Pixi stick. Hurrah!

Embarrassing moments on film: #409

My sister scanned a whole bunch of pictures for me, and oh my, they are doozies. This is my attempt to be Blossom. Oh don't we all miss Six?

Election Day

So, I think that most of my loyal and lovely readers are active citizens. I would like to think so. Remember that today is election day. I heard this quote this weekend from a speaker at a youth seminar: "When you don't vote, you give other people permission to rule your world without you." The speaker also said that "volunteers have great sex appeal." Needless to say, I thought he was pretty smart.

Vote today.

If you are in Maine, try voting No on 1. Many fabulous people will love you. There may be hugs. Not to mention, Texas is the only other state that has an GLBT item on the ballot. Let's continue the trend of making us look good for the rest of the US.

Maine Won't Discriminate

Poem by Denise Duhamel

Buying Stock


"...The use of condoms offers substantial protection, but does not
guarantee total protection and that while
there is no evidence that deep kissing has resulted in
transfer of the virus, no one can say that such transmission
would be absolutely impossible."

--The Surgeon General, 1987

I know you won't mind if I ask you to put this on.
It's for your protection as well as mine--Wait.
Wait. Here, before we rush into anything
I've bought a condom for each one of your fingers. And here--
just a minute--Open up.
I'll help you put this one on, over your tongue.
I was thinking:
If we leave these two rolled, you can wear them
as patches over your eyes. Partners have been known to cry,
shed tears, bodily fluids, at all this trust, at even the thought
of this closeness.

--Denise Duhamel

Poem by Ezra Pound

Meditatio

When I carefully consider the curious habits of dogs
I am compelled to conclude
That man is the superior animal.

When I consider the curious habits of man
I confess, my friend, I am puzzled.

-Ezra Pound.


Now, all of those people that really know me may be puzzled themselves. I am not really what you would call an animal lover. But, I do find quite a bit of truth in this poem. So, yeah yeah, tell me more about you dog or cat or flying squirrel... ain't nature great? I still say a great patch clover is fascinating.

Sara's Irrefutable Truths for the time being: Ham tribute

I hope Torrey does not mind that I thought this was such a cool idea that I would borrow from his fabulous blog. It's more of an homage really. Cheers, Torrey.

If at a dinner where there is a buffet, my table will always be called last or in two places before last.

Hanging out with Kath Kohler will always result in a good time.
I saw the Goddess of Good Times & Laughter this weekend -- and she did not fail me. The night ended with random dancing and the morning started with a lovely brunch of flat crust pizza. Good times indeed. Better state motto: Live free or die OR Don't mess with Texas?

My mother always calls me when I am sleeping.
She has a sense for these things. I for about a semester to two I would call Jay when he was taking a #2 without knowing it. But my mom has done this for 5 years now. She must have a Weasley-esque clock that the Sara hand goes to "nap" or "deep sleep" and she calls me just to mess with me.

I will at least have one Joss Whedon reference a day.
It does not matter what I am talking about with someone, it could be laundry or their new baby, I will find someway to make a reference to a Buffy or Firefly or Astonishing X-men some how. And what is weirder, I may only say one reference out loud to people, but how many more there are in my head.

God in a quiz, very convienent

You fit in with: Spiritualism Your ideals are mostly spiritual, but in an individualistic way. While spirituality is very important in your life, organized religion itself may not be for you. It is best for you to seek these things on your own terms. 80% spiritual. 80% reason-oriented.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

The Best Flight Ever

These things will never happen again. But let me tell you about the best flight ever.

*Drive to Manchester Airport and get there 3 hours to early. Yes I am a total dork.
*Results in attendant very pleasantly asking me if I want to take the earlier 5:55 flight instead of the 8:05 one.
*I still get my window seat.
*In a span of 20 minutes, I am through the security, quick stop to the bathroom and on the plane.
*There is no one in the middle seat, and the aisle seat has a nice and silent man in it. (Silent is most important when you don't have any music heaphone thing to listen to.)
*Flight was very very smooth.
*There were no babies on the flight.
*Jay is right at the airport, no waiting to be picked up.
*My bag is the FIRST one off the baggage carosel.


Note: these things will never happen again.

Feminist rant for the day... or at least this minute

So, I hate the word "lesbianism." I saw it in an article today about Sheryl Swoopes. I looked at the word and went, eeeeew. I mean the word "lesbian" on its own is not that great. But I love lesbians regardless what you call them. I mean its bad enough that most slang for the vagina is just brutal and gross sounding: meat curtains, tuna boat, cum dumpster, hairy taco, cunt, etc. Most slang for the penis is not that degrading and can be bandied about without much recoil: cock, prick, dick, trouser lizard, little bishop in a turtle neck, etc. I hear those and its like, oh, penis. I hear meat curtains and want to vomit a little in my mouth. And I love pussy or box. Those are ok. But come on, we all love our own genitalia, let's be more loving when naming them.
The word "lesbianism" is out there and it just sounds like a nasty disease. You would only see that word in a mainstream media site like CNN or NBC or something. Doubtful that you would see it in an actual source that cares about all people. It's just such a word that does not sound like something you should be comfortable in.

Sara Recommends

Buckling down
So, yes, this little poet finally did it. I buckled down and worked out a system for sending out submissions. I have at least 10 pregnant little envelopes on their way to get shredded to bits by some nasty mo-fo of an editor. But its all good. My friends from UNH kept a wall of rejection from every grad school or job they gor denied from. I think its kinda a weird motivator. Like you want to prove it wrong. So, I just really want to get published. I have very little ego when it comes to my creative work, but I just really want to share it. One of the RAs that puts together a news letter for the arts living community asked for some of my work for it. And you'd think that Hayden Carruth himself had asked for a copy, I was that flattered.

Cowboy Boots
I have never talked about one pair of footwear as much as I have these in my whole life. Seriously, if I could wear them every day I would. They are that exciting and they make great clomping noises and you just feel like you have a lively swagger with them on. I highly recommend them.

Green Earth toilet paper
You'd think that recycled (not from other toliet paper, but from other paper... duh) TP would be scratchy and bark like. Oh no. it's even quilted. Oh yes, now my bum can be eco-conscious too!

Joss Whedon commentaries on any of his shows
I was feeling a little low, and needed a comforting geeky voice to make me smile. Well, I just turned to my own little idol, Joss. He has this slight little lisp that bleeds the geek he is into what he is saying. He goes off on tangents and love his actors so much. He really uses them to their best abilities. He really is quite brilliant. He creates well-crafted pieces of art out of TELEVISION shows. To me, he made me love good TV again.


Six Feet Under, end of season four
And speaking of good TV... What the fuck?! I need season five RIGHT now. I don't know how long I can hold out. The tension waiting for it is going to be unbearable. But waiting makes it that much sweeter. I just hate to see it end. It makes me Book 7 sad.

Seriously, could we be cuter?

I just had my sister scan a bunch of pics for me. And this was one of the gems. I am cuddling Chronicles of Narnia books in my arms. Torrey said that should get me into the movie for free.

Reasons I work with college students: #256

This morning we took a van full of RAs to Portland Hall for a meeting. On the way back, we were discussing a program that they are doing in Robie-Andrews between the two men's floors: The Great Beard off. Starting on November 1st they shave clean and the day before Thanksgiving break, they judge on several different categories: best overall, fullest, thinnest, patchiest, etc. The conversation was just all together hilarious.

Then we got talking about neck beards. How some guys will shave but miss the neck all together. A concept I had never thought about before, but identified immediately. One of the RAs said, "Well, maybe they don't shave it to cover up hickeys." To which I reply, "Ok, because I would give a hickey over a neck beard." Ewwwww.

So, I love these random conversations that I think sometimes adults are afraid to have. Debates over the better PEZ flavor and how it tastes better out of a certain dispenser (Batman and Muppet ones are the best to me) or beards. And then get into an honest discussion about anti-discrimination and such. My mom calls this profession denial. I call it knowing where its at and not letting adulthood grab me by the proverbial balls and yanking me into mediocrity.

Quote from Sonia Sanchez

"All poets, all writers are political. They either maintain the status quo, or they say, "Something's wrong, let's change it for the better.' That's what my life has really been about."
-Sonia Sanchez

I saw this quote yesterday, and I got caught up in it. What do I do to change wrong as a writer? I know what I do as a person, but as a writer, there has to be more. I am not just talking about content, but community, or pushing envelopes in the world. Not just writing poetry for poets. Exposing myself and others to art that can change the world. I once got into a conversation with this drunk writer at Geno's who really just wanted to hear himself talk, and occasionally I got a word in -- but it was interesting how passionate the conversation got when we talked about poetry being a key to social change. Imagine if you knew what lit the fire for everyone. Use that to get people to move, and change the apathy, bring a little heart into what makes bureaucracy run, to the political system, to people waiting in lines, hell, I will do anything to get one more SUV off the road (short of guerilla tactics, but I did just sharpen my knives last night.... anyway...).

Poem by Martha Collins

Lines

Draw a line. Write a line. There.
Stay in line, hold the line, a glance
between the lines in fine but don't
turn corners, cross, cut in, go over
or out, between two points of no
return's a line of flight, between
two points of view's a line of vision.
But a line of thought is rarely
straight, an open line's no party
line, however fine your point.
A line of fire communicates, but drop
your weapons and drop your line,
consider the shortest distance from x
to y, let x be me, let y be you.

-Martha Collins

Sara recommends

Serenity
Were we all waiting for this from me? Not only did it meet my expectations, but it exceeded them. My expectations were also pretty high because I have been waiting for long and I also worship Joss, as we all know. Somethings happened in the film that elicted a stronger reaction from me that they normally do. I don't want to spoil anything. But seeing it I was so fully immersed in it, that coming out of the movie theatre, I just wanted to sit there and process and leave that 'verse on my own terms. I love silence coming out of a movie. Usually by time I get to the car, I am ready to talk. I have seen it four times. And oh my, it will never get old. Bring on number two.

Organizing your CDs
I have rediscovered jems I forgot I had -- Aretha Franklin, Velvet Underground, Morphine. And unearthed somethings that I am ashamed to admit I owned: Pavorati and Friends 2 and the soundtrack to Phenomenon. Yes, this was back in the day where you could not buy one song off an album, so my whims cost me 15 bucks a pop.

Bringing back TV shows that the networks were too blind to see their genius
Case in point, Firefly is the perfect example, this got turned into a film and made its cult fan status even higher. Browncoats unite.
Other shows that need to be brought back: Wonderfalls, My-so Called Life (although, I kind of don't want the question at the end answered, I like not knowing). But thank god they let Point Pleasant die. Oh, Marti, what were you thinking.

Listing things I do not care a lick about. But admitting I might be prone to bitching about later, because no one is infallible.
*Ashlee Simpson
*The DaVinci Code
*Reality plastic surgery TV shows
*High School reunions
*Wedding cake
*Football
*Donald Trump
*Cars that imply status
*Brad, Angelina, Ashton, Demi, Jen, Tom, Katie and all those other relationships that sour my happy buying food time at the grocery store because all I see is their freaking faces at the checkout line

Poem by Maggie Nelson

A Misunderstanding

I thought Zen poems
were supposed to sound wise.

Now I'm going to buy
as much beer as five dollars

can buy and drink it
right here on the sofa.

-Maggie Nelson

Wear green, be a rebel.

PROTEST "YES ON 1"
Wednesday, October 5th - 4 to 6 PM
Masterton Hall Steps
USM Portland Campus

Mike Heath, Executive Director of Christian Civic League and the leader on the campaign to make discrimination legal, will be speaking on campus to tell people why we should ALLOW discrimination in Maine. We will stand on the steps of Masterton to let everyone know that we will not be fooled by scare tactics and disillusionment. We need to make it clear that USM is not going to allow discrimination to happen.

When asked to move their venue to a larger space where everyone could participate, the "YES on 1" campaign said NO! We were also told that our questions must be submitted before hand to be asked at the event! They are not supporting FAIRNESS, OPEN DISCUSSION, or EDUCATION at USM!

We will show Mike Heath that the "NO on 1" campaign is about doing the right thing - making discrimination illegal. Please join us on the steps of Masterton Hall to protest the event. We will all be wearing green, there will be plenty of posters and the media will be present! Don't forget - WEAR GREEN!!!

Please pass this on to everyone you know, we need all the help we can get! If you have any questions please do not heisitate to ask.

Together Against Discrimination,
The Coalition to Vote Louder


Who submits questions before an event? I typically think of a forum or speaker of a topic might be open to an opportunity to engage with people about a topic they love to talk about. Part of me wants to listen to this crack pot. Hmmm, I love protests. Just one more thing to not get me elected president. Oh, wait... I am already a woman and can think for myself... that is -2 points for me from the get go. Damn. See you there!



You don't want to make the sisters angry by discriminating. Look at the narrowed eyes, see, you are afraid, eh?

Vote NO on 1

In Maine, there was an anti-discrimination extension to peoples of all sexual orientations passed the Maine Legislature in March of 2005 with support from a strong bipartisan majority in both houses of the Maine Legislature. Now, its being put up for repeal on the ballot.

There have been some yes on 1 stickers places, namely on this guy's bag I saw today at breakfast. I grimaced a little to the people I was sitting with and started talking about the voting issue and such. The guy with the sticker (which is red, white, and blue of course, the whole NO on 1 campaign is green and white. Just and observation.) is standing at the grill when my order is called up. I go up and have to walk past the Yes guy. I get back to the table to one of my fellow liberals pointing out that he was checking me out at the grill. Personally, I think he was reading the back of my shirt, but none the less, it was pretty ironic. How might that pick up go?

Yes guy: So, do you want to go out? Watch Armageddon, get some pie maybe?
Me: Erm, I vote NO on you.

Vote NO on 1 in Maine on November 8th

Happy Birthday T.S.

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

T. S. Eliot

S`io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo.

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question...
Oh, do not ask, `` What is it? ''
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening.
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains.
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys.
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me.
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, ``Do I dare?'' and, ``Do I dare?''
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair--
[They will say: ``How his hair is growing thin!'']
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin--
[They will say: ``But how his arms and legs are thin!'']
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all--
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all--
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
Is it perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?
. . . . .
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows? . . .

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
. . . . .
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep. . . tired . . . or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet--and here's no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: `` I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all''--
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: ``That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.''

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor--
And this, and so much more?--
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow, or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
``That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.''
. . . . .
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous--
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old . . . I grow old . . .
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.


I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

Ramblings of the 3am On-duty person

I have a weird job. Resident Director is an odd thing if you look at it from the framework of the pragmatic 9-5er type of view. But I have been doing it for a long time, and while not wholly convienient at times it makes sense. I am on call this week, which basically means I can get called about anything from a lock out to vomit all over a bathroom to sending someone to the hospital. Weekend nights of on call are never much for good sleep, especially towards the beginning of the semester because you never know what you are going to get. So, I cuddle up on my couch with my day clothes still on, protected by my blue & green afgan and try to catch some "duty-sleep" in front of a trusty movie. But tonight, the shallow sleep did not happen, my head is too full of things to let myself drift off. I think about the state of the nation, the state of my students, the book I am reading, how can I ever rock as hard as Jack Black, the start of my student loans, the state of my heart, how much I love Ruth Fisher from Six Feet Under, the Serenity movie and how much I just want that verse to never end, writing and the block that I sometimes need a jackhammer to get chip away at it, what I am going to do for Thanksgiving, who can I call at this hour who won't mind it too too much, the additions I want to make to the tatoo on my arm, the age of thirty, the age of twenty nine, the age I will be when I feel like an adult, how tiny Hannah is, kisses, actually missing the push to write to send a packet into my professor, how the moon looked last year in Deer Isle, how much I really want a Pumpkin Head ale, who can I trust in politics, voting No on 1 on November 8th, the state of marriage and how ludicrious it is that the religious conservatives can tell anyone who they spend the rest of their lives with, how sometimes I think I was a gay man in my past life, if I could perform magic what spells would I cast, how cool telekineis would be minus all the crazy Carrie pig's blood prank and massacre, the comic book convention in Boston next week, Homecoming, job searching, what the hell it would be like to live off campus, and many other things that just kind of add up like small bees in my head until I have a swarm buzzing around in this hive-mind. I need a bee keeper to come with their calm mask and slow smoky vapor to lull the bees to sleep, let me collect the sweet combs of sleep and drink the honey until I am rested and sleep drunk off the nectar. It makes me wish I was four again and I could count on someone tucking me in and rubbing my back and smoothing the hair back from my head to find the cool side of the pillow. Sleep is a weird mistress. Sometimes she will readily bed you and hold you in her soft arms, and other times she won't put out. Damn crazy bitch.

Poem by James Wright

The Blessing

Just off the highway to Rochester, Minnesota,
Twilight bounds softly forth on the grass.
And the eyes of those two Indian ponies
Darken with kindness.
They have come gladly out of the willows
To welcome my friend and me.
We step over the barbed wire into the pasture
Where they have been grazing all day alone.
They ripple tensely, they can hardly contain their happiness
That we have come.
They bow shyly as wet swans. They love each other.
There is no loneliness like theirs.
At home once more,
They begin munching the young tufts of spring in the darkness.
I would like to hold the slenderer one in my arms,
For she has walked over to me
And nuzzled my left hand.
She is black and white,
Her mane falls wild on her forehead,
And the light breeze moves me to caress her long ear
That is as delicate as the skin over a girl’s wrist.
Suddenly I realize
That if I stepped out of my body I would break
Into blossom.

--James Wright

Sara recommends

The Poem Adept -- Songs for the long lonely drive
I have had this album for a year, and for some insane reason it got put to the back burner of my rotation. Well, after seeing Pete Rothbart play again this week -- its back and its better than I remembered. And this lyric sent me off from "This Hotel Room" send me off into a new poem: I'll get a chair for you to stand on and get your words down from off of the shelf. An artist that can make me write on the spot always gets a special place for me.

Not getting Gesso on your clothes
Saucier has been working on this crazy community of arts program in Robie Andrews and I decided to take one of the seminars. Krista was so interesting and fun to observe being a teacher that I totally lost track of my brush and splattered white Gesso all over. Eh, small price to pay for a learning experience. Next time... aprons.


Dar Williams -- My Better Self
Ok, I am a total sucker for the Dar. She is just a great songwriter, I admire the poetry of her work, and how it seems like she always knows exactly what I wanted to listen to. This is her new album and oh my it does not disappoint. She laid down some bluesy tracks, a cover of Comfortably Numb with Ani Difranco, and its just another solid album. And "Miss you till I meet you" is another song that I could kick myself for not writing. She did it again. But then again, she has one up on me... you know, cause I can't play a tune. Defeated, but so deliciously.

Naked Food Juice -- Superfood Blue Machine
My blueberry hunger cannot be quenched sometimes -- I just love the little plump berries and how they burst sweet and tart on my tongue. This juice is obviously not the same experience -- but it gives me some of that lovely taste. I am a fan of the Odawalla blueberry based juice -- but sometimes its a little too pulpy. This one is good for a smoother drink.

September 30
If you don't know by now... you really don't know me at all.

Politics smolotics

You are a Social Liberal (66% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (5% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

What's that baby? You're a Level 5 Chaotic Evil Half-Orc?

Now you know what I do on a lonely night...

Poem by Kim Addonizio

So, I am becoming increasingly frustrated with the lack of appreciation for poetry in the world. Ok, I know what you are thinking, Sara just got her MFA and is feeling high and mighty about preaching poetry awareness...blah blah blah i wish she would stop talking so i could make a cheese sandwich, you can't cover poetry with delicious cheddar, hmm, sharp, man i am hungry.... LISTEN! The thing is, I hate the lofty better than thou poetry that poets only write to other poets. I like accessibility and beauty and tangibility. I don't write something that someone is not going to "get". I don't spell it out for people either -- but I to use imagery and senses to bring people to a different place. So, I could use this blog as a masturbatory forum where I only post my own stuff -- but its bigger than that. I have decided to post some poems I think would appeal to people on different levels, and ones that I love. Feel free to post your comments and thoughts on the poem -- and in essence if that happens -- great! Lets start talking. Poetry is the key to what is lacking in this world. And when I say that, lets not assume I think there is only one lock... and there ain't no skeleton key either. So, enough of the rant, onto the poem, and I hope you enjoy the new feature.



Fuck

There are people who will tell you
that using the word fuck in a poem
indicates a serious lapse
of taste, or imagination,

or both. It’s vulgar,
indecorous, an obscenity
that crashes down like an anvil
falling through a skylight

to land on a restaurant table,
on the white linen, the cut-glass vase of lilacs.
But if you were sitting
over coffee when the metal

hit your saucer like a missile,
wouldn’t that be the first thing
you’d say? Wouldn’t you leap back
shouting, or at least thinking it,

over and over, bell-not clanging
in the church of your brain
while the solicitous waiter
led you away, wouldn’t you prop

your shaking elbows on the bar
and order your first drink in months,
telling yourself you were lucky
to be alive? And if you wouldn’t

say anything but Mercy or Oh my
or Land sakes, well then
I don’t want to know you anyway
and I don’t give a fuck what you think

of my poem. The world is divided
into those whose opinions matter
and those who will never have
a clue, and if you knew

which one you were I could talk
to you, and tell you that sometimes
there’s only one word that means
what you need it to mean, the way

there’s only one person
when you first fall in love,
or one infant’s cry that calls forth
the burning milk, one name

that you pray to when prayer
is what’s left to you. I’m saying
in the beginning was the word
and it was good, it meant one human

entering another and it’s still
what I love, the word made
flesh. Fuck me, I say to the one
whose lovely body I want close,

and as we fuck I know it’s holy,
a psalm, a hymn, a hammer
ringing down on an anvil,
forging a whole new world.

--Kim Addonizio

Things I am currently obsessed with

*Six Feet Under (I finished season 2-- so don't spoil anything)
*Make Believe - Weezer
*Zinzibar & Altaro from the Body Shop
*Stash's English Breakfast Tea
*Serenity (yeah, kids, this one ain't going away)
*Hot rice pack for all your aches and pains
*My toes (I got a pedicure and the woman insisted i get a star painted on them. Got to admit, its pretty damn cute)
*Not swearing (it costs me 10 cents every time)

Fuel

"The poem will not be denied; to refuse to write it would be greater torture. It tears its way out of the brain, splintering and breaking its passage, and leaves that organ in the state of a jelly-fish when the task is done."
-May Sarton

Sometimes I feel like writing is something I do in my sleep, with each breath, each touch. I think that I should just use my skin as a tablet, thick black strokes, curved words imprinted on white. Would that make my words breathe more? Live more in this world, give them feet to walk around in? Do they get lonely and restless sitting in my books, hidden away in my bedroom, not allowed to see the moon smiling sad and cockeyed in the sky?

Welcome to the world, Hannah.

Hannah Roberts Arey -- September 8, 2005

I know its cheesy to share baby pics, but come on, this one is damn cute.





This one looks like she has a crazy little smile. Probably gas, but I like to think of it as Hannah is going to be one funny chick.

Threadless aid to Katrina

Hurricane Relief: Threadless aid Shirt costs $10 and they donate $20 per shirt.

Insensitivity at its peak.

Barbara Bush was touring the Astrodome and made the following statement.

"And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were
underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

I seriously did not even know how to react to this. Once again, I am left feeling likeI was slapped in the face, which is nothing compared to the kick in the teeth while already down and bleeding that was just delivered.

Sara recommends

Converse High top sneakers, you pick your own color
I have had several pairs of Cons, low top plaid, a lime green, and still have the yellow. I got a pair of royal blue last night -- that color had been my quest for a while. Even though they do not have any arch support, I think they are the most comfortable sneaker (of the non working out variety) for my money. I have also found that anyone worthwhile admires a nice pair of cons.

Getting a really great song stuck in your head
Right now, its "All These Things That I've Done" by the Killers. Even though its a little annoying to get it stuck there, especially when its mostly the part: I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier", I still love bopping around to it in my inner loop.


Bonding with people over crappy situations
We had 3 fire alarms pulled in the matter of 36 hours. Yeah, pretty craptastic, but you have to turn those moments when six of you staff members are filling out police reports at 3am into golden moments. I brought candy down from the office and just started being goofy instead of pissed off. Part of me likes the moments that come from a small and not harmful crisis.


Death Cab for Cutie
Yes, yes, I finally listened to Torrey. Its only really going to happen this once. If any one has ever read his blog (see Word of Ham link on the left here) you will know how he basically goes teenage school girl over this band. (he also goes teenage school girl over Shirley Temple, ask him about it sometime) And, damn, I can see why now. I bought two albums last night and I can't get enough. Well played, Torrey well played.


Anticipation
Yeah, it might drive you insane and might not be able to think of anything else, but you know, there is something to be said for waiting. If Christmas was when ever you wanted it, the tree would not be as magical, the nog not as noggerific, the crinkle of the wrapping paper not as sharp. There has to be a reason why they say, "good things come to those that wait." Right? Or is that just a ploy that the "they" uses to get us to stop squirming in our seats. Naw, I believe them.

Life should be like this all the time.

I think sometimes how someone approaches a amusement park ride can be indicative of how they approach life.

The Self Portrait.

Jay and I took these a while ago, and I am still constantly amazed by how fun my digital camera is. I have always been a big supporter of the Self Portrait. In the day, typically I would do them with a disposable and you would just hope for the best. But now, with the magical wonder of technology, my camera screen flips around so you can aim and get better self portraits. High thumbs up here.



And this shot is a recreation. Jay is doing a pose from someone who liked to hop into pictures and make that weird face. I have what would have been a great picture of Julie and I, and then this woman jumps in and makes that absurd face. Yeah. But, we had many laughs over this one.

Overheard in NY

My good friend, Pete McKenney, told me about this website: Overheard in NY. And its pretty damn hilarious.

Just some samplings:

Teen girl: Michael Jackson paid that white woman to have his kids, 'cause he wants his kids to be white.
Teen boy: Michael Jackson never gonna have white kids. It's like if you got a glass of Ovaltine, and you put water in it, and you just keep on adding water, what do you get? Very dilute Ovaltine.
--F train

Girl #1: Yeah, I think those are real trees. Otherwise, I don't think they would grow like that.
Girl #2: Yeah, I think you're right.
--Bryant Park

Man on cell: Hey, I just got out of work and...wait...dude, are you having sex?...While I'm on the phone with you?...You...you're having sex with Amy?...What would...you mean you think the fact that it's Amy makes it all right to pick up the phone?...No! No! That makes it worse!
--2 train


Drunk guy #1: So yeah, I'm boning her and she starts to ovulate. I've made girls ovulate before but this chick went crazy.
Drunk guy #2: Ew, she got her period while you were doing her?
--Astoria

Chick: Wait, I really did sleep with that guy? I need to update my
Excel spreadsheet.
--Montien, 3rd Avenue

Girl #1: So he told me that no matter what happens on June 31st, he will come to my house and we'll discuss our wedding.
Girl #2: I wish my boyfriend would be there for me.
Girl #1: It sounds nice, doesn't it? Except there is no 31st of June.
--Washington Square Park

An art gallery has an exhibit of old record covers.
Hipster girl: People dressed so retro back in those days.
--Soho

Sometimes I think technology and convience can be used for the powers of good.

Vend this!

Books in vending machines? Ok, to be honest, I think this is kinda brilliant. Imagine getting on a long train ride and thinking, Damn, I wish I could read and enlighten myself instead of glaring at my seatmate for hogging all the room. A book would take my mind off of their elbow in my side.. Now, my friends you can. Not stuck with trashy fashion mags or what not. Plus $2.45 a book! Not often do I think the convience-need-it-NOW culture do we have works.... but in this case, I think its pretty damn cool.

I heart Scrubs

Dr. Cox, getting one-up on JD: I love this moment so much I want to have sex with it.


Dr. Cox, going two-up on JD: This moment's so great I'd cheat in that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of tiny little moments.


Dr. Cox: Oh, gosh, Shannon, thank you so much for clarifying my point by repeating it word for word. And now, in a reciprocal gesture. Can I be included in the planning of your coming out party?
JD: Is that a gay joke?
Dr. Cox: No, it's a cotillion joke. My God, Newbie, it's been two furiously frustrating years. How is it possible that you still don't get me? I would never compare you to the gays! I like the gays - I like their music, I like their sense of style, I especially like what they've done with Halloween - but our thing is that you are a little girl.


Dr.Cox: I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Lemme see, uhh.... Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, 'The O.C.', the U.N., recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host! Everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everything everything, everything that exists, past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions....Oh! And Hugh Jackman
JD: (IN HEAD) Hugh Jackman's Wolverine! How dare he!


Dr. Cox: Oh, my God! I just gagged and vomited at the same time. I gavomited.

Dr Cox: Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies: Will they, won't they, and then they finally do and they're happy forever -- gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced, anyway. And I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, 'cause I do...believe in it. Bottom line...is the couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but, the big difference is, they don't let it take 'em down.

If I liked the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles more....

......I would buy this shirt.

It's called Heroes in an Art Shell.



www.threadless.com

Pillowcase promotion

So I am starting a little cottage industry business for myself. I started this as doing gifts for my staff and for weddings, but I am looking to sell as well. No obligation from my dear readers, just a show off of the handiwork I am proud of. I embroider and also buy some funky designs of fabric. Why should your bed be boring!? You may not be getting any, but hey, your head is happy on a customized pillow! I need to think of a good business name for it too. Any suggestions?




Addition to the collection, the different designs:

List of things I am currently obsessed with...

...on minor or major levels.

*the upcoming Serenity movie and the Serenity comics
*Six Feet Under
*Jason Mraz -- Mr. A-Z
*Poker
*Traci Botzenka, antics with
*Kites
*Posting pictures to my blog
*Organizing my apartment, thinking about but not really doing it
*Pillowcases, making and hopefully selling
*Reid State Park
*Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and all its companions and theories that get me all in a tizzy
*weddings, see too many
*Lipstick, red
*Summer nights, driving and preferably being a passenger in a car
*Big 20 candlepin bowling in Scarborough
*Torrey's pumpkin cookies
*Jobs
*Netflix
*sarongs
*Twinings Blackcurrant Tea

Econo lodge high class

So, you know coming into it that an Econo Lodge is not going to put mints on your pillow and have little French soaps. But, when you see a Beef Jerky Vending machine, you know you have hit the cream of the Econo crop.


Side note: I was at a wedding in Wayland, MA last weekend, and driving from the church to the reception, I took a very wrong turn and was seeing the sights. And had I not been driving, I would have taken a picture of a sign in front of a church that said: "Do you even know where you are going? -God"

Peter Jennings

So, put aside all the things I say and think about hating mainstream corporate news. As a child, ABC news was a mainstay in the house. 6:30 was devoted to ABC news. I hated it then. But I would still sit there reading or cuddling with my mom who would read from the large stack of library books we got every week. Peter Jennings' voice was in the background talking about Regan or Oliver North. I always liked the end of the news show -- where it was more of a personal interest story, because he always sounded a little happier then. During 9/11, while other people I know were glued to NBC, I would watch ABC at home, wanting Peter to give me a sense of safety, of home. I never really thought that anchormen could do that. I truly thought, and still do, he is a good man. Yes, he probably read whatever was given to him, but the child part of me did not care. He was home, was the shelter, the safe filter to hear scary things I could not comprehend as a child.

Things that I would be happy never doing again

1. Eat potted meat
2. Going to see West Side Story
3. Going to see or watching the movie "Grease"
4. Spraining my ankle
5. Makeout with a guy nicknamed "Sausages & Cereal"
6. Get yelled at on the phone by angry parents of college students who were denied housing and are adamant because they are athletes they need to live in the dorms.
7. Vomit
8. Get stranded in an airport for a night
9. Watch the movie, "Booty Call"
10. Hit a raccoon with my car.

Sara Recommends

Jazzy Java from Coffee by Design
I thought this was just another name for a flavor of coffee that only the experts could detect. But I tried it and it was heavenly -- notes of pecan, hazelnut, rum, and cinnamon. I had it iced, and it was an electric iceberg in a cup for the end of July.


Better than Ezra
Ok, so in college I almost wore out Deluxe and Friction, Baby. The Goddess that is Julie Milazzo would also sing "King of New Orleans" down the halls or just randomly in a conversation, and it was a sultry cover if I do say so. I resurrected them back in the spring, and found that I still loved them over the years. They played a free concert in the Monument Square last night. I was expecting to like it, but I was not expecting them to ROCK the city. They were a great band, got the crowd worked up, did some fun riffs and small covers. And they played the cover of "Laid" from their greatest hits album. I just picked up "Before the Robots" -- great album. I am now grooving to the song "Juicy" --- great song to dance to, especially in the seduction phase with some little honey. Plus, the band members are pretty honey themselves.


Red Salsa, lipstick from Mary Kay
Just bought this shade from the poet extraordinaire, Robin Merrill, and it is a deep red that stays put. Better than my Wet and Wild 99-centers. Red lipstick is where its at for this lady, I was afraid of colors before, but you know, you only are loving life for so long. Lets make it longer by using wine glasses for everything, walking barefoot, watching baseball, and wearing red lipstick.

Threadless.com
Tired of those Old Navy t-shirts with places printed on them you have never been? Try this site where people submit their own designs to be voted on, and the highest ratings get printed. Some of my favorites are "The Dark Side of the Garden", "Ask me how I became a pirate", "She Doesnt Even Realize", and "Emotional Trip". Unique designs that get people talking. Many people ask me about them when I wear one. Check out the link on this blog.


Chicken Peprikash
Dish that my mom only makes in August when the tomatoes are plentiful and ripe right out of the garden. Chicken and tomatoes mixed and cooked with broth and sour cream served over rice. I can't get enough of this stuff. I always would sneak spoonfulls out of the leftover dish in the fridge -- its even that good cold. I made it this week and oooohhh is my belly happy.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
I don't really need to say alot here --- I have my theories. Let's discuss.

Pregnancy WOW!

Considering the comments from Mr. Ham, I thought I would post this picture of the hypothetical situation if I ever did become, shall we say, preggers. And I also think that this is a drastic understatement of what I would look like. This was an elaborate prank on a soon to be wedded friend Adam, who neglected to tell me so. I think things like this are why digital cameras are the pranksters best tool. That and some toliet paper. And maybe some sharpies and shaving cream. Oh, and a mannequin. P.S. If they ever invented a pregnancy test that said this, I would buy it and take it in a heartbeat, even when I am in no danger. Then I suspect it would say, "Congrats, your freedom is still intact. Now keep your legs closed."
P.P.S. The older I get, the more children seem to be too much. I even freak out a little at the idea of a pet that needs to be walked and fed on a regular basis.


This picture is a test, had it been real, there would have been a picture of fainting.

Observations about the rest stops from Maine to Rochester, NY

*The best toilet paper is in Massachusetts
*The worst toilet paper is in New York
*The college students who are home for the summer and work at the little sunglass kiosks are usually slightly bitter that they are not some where traveling themselves.
*I still hate SUV’s
*Most parents with a 5-15 year old with them look pissed off
*An old lady who is slow will always be walking directly in front of you when you have to pee very badly, especially after drinking 2 20 oz. Diet Cokes with Lime
*The key to good parenting: keeping your kids calm at a rest stop
*When you are looking for a magazine to buy to read (while eating your unsatisfying meal so your stomach does not consume itself) there will be no magazine rack, only a stand of Christian books with such titles as “Jobs with God” and “What God thinks about Sex”
*Old men always wear high socks with shorts

joss is my master now.

A post from Joss Whedon on the Serenity message boards"

Summer did read for Kitty in X3. I know because she called me and mentioned she was going to and did I know anything about the character (there were no 'sides' to study -- they had to get them when they came in). So the girl I turned into sort of a superhero in my movie was going to read for the character that most influenced ALL my girl-heroes, Kitty Pryde. Karmically funky. Anyhoo, she called me after and said it was very emotional and kind of like when she read for FIREFLY, she just got into a very intense groove. She started telling me about the scene she read and that's when I realized WHY it was kind of like she read for FIREFLY. 'Cause (as you may know) it was a scene I wrote for Astonishing X-Men issue #5. I assume they just didn't have sides ready and used that but this was like a karmic moebius strip, it was just too folded in on itself. In this time of odd, I turned to beer. (No I didn't. Stay in school.)

I don't know what the X-peeps are looking for -- or even if that other girl has really dropped out -- but for my money, Summer would make a wonderful Kitty. (And I don't say that lightly.) As long as it doesn't interfere with SERENITY II: RICARDO MONTALBAN'S STILL PISSED -- or, much more importantly, SERENITY III: SO VERY NUDE.

Marriage is what brings us together today

Saucier: my motto about marriage is not me not now

cookie: that is how i feel about relationships with the smelly and crazy

Sometimes you need to post a quote.

"If you hate your parents, the man, or the establishment, don't show them up by getting wasted and wrapping your car around a tree. If you really want to rebel against your parents: outearn them, outlive them, and know more than they do."
-Henry Rollins

ONE Campaign

Send Bush a letter to tell him to help fight AIDS and poverty


If you signed this document on line, can you leave me a comment. I am doing work with this campaign in Maine, and would like to know some numbers. Thanks!

A toast for the undersung geeks.

Sometimes I think that geek women are not always seen as earning their geek cred. Sure, you put a comic, horn rimmed glasses and a quirky graphic tee on a guy and they are geek chic. You give those to a woman, and they seem not to match. Obsessions like knowing lots of baseball stats or superhero strengths are quirky on a guy, but you have a women geek out over who would win in a fight: Voldemort or Vader; and it just seems jarring.

So, cheers to us, femme geeks.

Cheers to smart geek women across the world.
May we always win trivial pursuit, our computers hum blissfully, our sci fi obsessions always spark us, and our thick glasses always be alluring.
Cheers to Willow Rosenberg, Winifred Burkle, Anne Shirley, Velma, Hermoine Granger, Jo March!
Cheers to us!

I just finished the Maine Youth Leadership seminar. Its my 3rd year, and every year I am still surprised and awed by the kids. This is my group, the Rogue Island group. Yeah, I picked the name because I am a X-men dork. I adore these kids and I hope that they remember me sometimes, or think that I helped them in this horrid and wonderful experience we call life. If you would like to know more about this organization, let me know, I will be more than happy to ramble on! 

The picture of Flat Stanley that will never make it to my second grade cousins. http://flatstanley.enoreo.on.ca/ 

Padme and Anakin -- so in love and so vomit worthy

“You’re so beautiful.”
“That’s only because I’m so in love.”
“No, it’s because I’m so in love with you.”

There it is folks. The dialogue meant to make me feel that Anakin would risk everything to save Padme. Yup.... I am really starting to feel it... I have to excuse myself.

Random tidbit from Kath Kohler

I met Queen Latifah last weekend. 
This weekend, Jay hopes that I meet Lil Kim in order to
keep the once-a-week-meeting-a-female-rap-star roll going.

Psychiatrics want recognition of gay marriage

ATLANTA, Georgia (AP) -- Representatives of the nation's top psychiatric group approved a statement Sunday urging legal recognition of gay marriage.

If approved by the association's directors in July, the measure would make the American Psychiatric Association the first major medical group to take such a stance.

The statement supports same-sex marriage "in the interest of maintaining and promoting mental health."

It follows a similar measure by the American Psychological Association last year, little more than three decades after that group removed homosexuality from its list of mental disorders.

The psychiatric association's statement, approved by voice vote on the first day of its weeklong annual meeting in Atlanta, cites the "positive influence of a stable, adult partnership on the health of all family members."

The resolution recognizes "that gay men and lesbians are full human beings who should be afforded the same human and civil rights," said Margery Sved, a Raleigh, North Carolina, psychiatrist and member of the assembly's committee on gay and lesbian issues.

The document clarifies that the association is addressing same-sex civil marriage, not religious marriages. It takes no position on any religion's views on marriage.

Massachusetts is the only state that allows same-sex marriage. Eighteen states have passed constitutional amendments outlawing same-sex marriage.

---

Well, well... it seems that we are full human beings, and not just some shell of a person walking around being all deviant. I am not bashing the person who said that, it just seems so fucked up to me that you would even NEED someone to even validate a person like that. And as for the being deviant, well hell, everyone is.

Star Wars is coming.... and I am a glutton for spectacular punishment.

I love it when someone reminds you of something you said. Melissa reminded me that I said this to Jason at lunch the other day.

"Arey, I grew up on Star Wars. You don't fuck with the force."


I got the midnight tickets today. I am excited about it, even though I know it won't live up to what I loved as a kid. Hell, I still even love the Ewoks. I just am sad that the likes of Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, and Samuel L. Jackson are not in the 4-6 of the series. Lucas just reminds me sometimes of the little kid struggling to tie his shoes after being successful only once and can't do it again. He refuses help when it comes to his aid. "I can do it! I know I can direct! Leave me alone!"

Oh well, the light sabers are amazing and I am hooked like an American kid on the McDonalds Happy Meal O'Crack.

I just love it when soft drinks look like phallic parts. 

Serenity NOW!

http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/serenity

So, this is the movie I have been waiting very very long for. It will be amazing, it is amazing, and i think you all need to clear September 30, 2005 on your calendar. Pen this in my friends.

Sara Recommends 6

Dogville
I need more people to see this movie. Simply because I need more people to talk to about this film. It was filmed on a soundstage that was dressed very very starkly. Nicole Kidman suprises me sometimes. She is one of those stars that it is hard to forget that it is her, but this one had me hooked on her. I don't want to give tons away -- see it and we will discuss.

Bust, April/May 2005 issue
Amy Sedaris is on the cover. Wearing huge falsies and cut lemon tops for nipples under this yellow dress. And, to top it off, she is interviewed by Mya Rudolph. Bust magazine is what Bitch magazine would secretly read but never admit to. Smart, hip, craft tips, and with fashion tips. But with real size models and some fun and funky things.

Dark Chocolate M&Ms
I have not tried them yet. But I just saw a commerical for them -- and dark chocolate is my weakness. The commercial was Star Wars, and probably the commercial is better than Episode III.

Portland Public Market
This is quite possibily one of my favorite places in Portland. Great big ol' warehouse full of vendors of veggies, seafood, jams, etc and some great places to get some meals. I love to go and read there or sit and have never ending conversations with friends sitting up top. Plus, I found the ginger candy I love that I could only find piece by piece at the Thai place. It was at this stand that sells spices and other exotic things. And there is a giant scary lobster. GIANT.

Loveshack, B-52s
I think this has to be one of the top dancing songs out there. If your dance floor is empty, this is almost a guarntee to get people out there. The "bang-bang on the door" is my favorite part.

Rest In Peace - Gobo FattyMcFatfat 

Cowboy boots from Nashville. Quite possibly the hottest pair of footwear I own. 

Random Tidbit: Jay Lewis

This random tidbit is brought to you by Jay Lewis, who I can take a guess was responding to Kath Kohler's previous advice.

When purchasing soda, if you are considering a new flavor that you have never previously tasted, you should first buy only one can of it, since single cans are widely available. If you like it, you can then go on to purchase the 12 pack after that. Do not buy a 12 pack of something that you are not certain you will like. If you follow this simple advice, you will never end up with 11 cans of diet root beer that you don't like.

Poem I wish I was clever enough to write

The Purple Cow

I never say a Purple Cow;
I never Hope to See One;
But I can Tell you, Anyhow,
I'd rather See than Be One!

Ah, Yes! I Wrote "The Purple Cow"

Ah, Yes! I Wrote the "Purple Cow"--
I'm sorry now, I Wrote it!
But I can Tell you, Anyhow,
I'll Kill you if you Quote it!

--Gelett Burgess (1866-1951)

Rediscovering old music

So I was taking a little tour through music past last week and had forgotten how much I like some bands.

Better than Ezra -- My fondest music memory of this is Julie singing "King of New Orleans" at random moments. She would just be walking with you across campus and sing a line or two. It was the voice of someone who loved life and experienced it openly and without questions. Plus, the lead singers voice is pop-ish but had a great depth to it.

Crash Test Dummies -- Ok, confession, I still listen to some of these songs on a very regular basis. "Afternoons and Coffeespoons" is my favorite -- especially after hearing Common Rotation cover it at the living room concert.

Jill Sobule -- The album with "I kissed a girl" is better than I remember. "Supermodel" is just a fun song. "Karen by night" is also a great story song.

What are some old albums you would like to resurrect from your past?

Random tidbits: Kath Kohler

This Random Tidbit is brought to you by Kath Kohler, who just may be a little too bored at work:

Diet Root Beer and Diet Ginger Ale suck. If you have a craving, just get the good stuff.

Goodbye to working with people....

The top 10 most in-demand college majors:
1. Accounting
2. Electrical engineering
3. Mechanical engineering
4. Business administration/management
5. Economics/finance
6. Computer science
7. Computer engineering
8. Marketing/marketing management
9. Chemical engineering
10. Information sciences and systems
Source: Job Outlook 2005 survey, conducted by the National Association of Colleges and Employers


Does anyone else find this a little creepy?

Oh John Cleese!

UK revocates Independence
John Cleese's Letter to the USA

To the citizens of the United States of America, in light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II resumes monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.8% of you who have, until now, been unaware there's a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America. Congress and the Senate are disbanded. A questionnaire circulated next year will determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Check "aluminium" in the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you pronounce it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Likewise you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary." Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you should not have chat shows.
2. There is no such thing as "U.S. English." We'll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.
3. You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as 'Taggart' will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.
5. You should stop playing American "football." There's only one kind of football. What you call American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays "American" football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.
Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).
You should stop playing baseball. It's not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
6. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.
7. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
8. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't French, they're Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer." Substances once known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
11. The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon, get used to it).
12. Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you're not adult enough to be independent. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
13. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
14. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation.
* John Cleese
[Basil Fawlty, Fawlty Towers, Torquay, Devon, England]

(Thanks to Shannon on this one!)