Poem I wish I was clever enough to write

The Purple Cow

I never say a Purple Cow;
I never Hope to See One;
But I can Tell you, Anyhow,
I'd rather See than Be One!

Ah, Yes! I Wrote "The Purple Cow"

Ah, Yes! I Wrote the "Purple Cow"--
I'm sorry now, I Wrote it!
But I can Tell you, Anyhow,
I'll Kill you if you Quote it!

--Gelett Burgess (1866-1951)