Winter storm warning from my favorite weather guy, Ed Gleason

Seriously, this man is the Jon Stewart of weather and astronomy.

From the USM Southworth Planetarium
"If you don't like the weather, wait a month."
WINTER WEATHER
April 11, 2007
Posted 11:13 a.m. in a state of nerve-fraying panic

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Before posting the forecast, I just wanted to proudly announce that this weekend I cleaned my office. One benefit of cleaning one's office is that one finds items that one thought he/she would never see again...like the floor. Well, the office is clean, organized, and well-kept. So, now, I have plenty of room to store my brand new office equipment... my office perimeter fence made entirely of barbed wire; my
machine gun nest; my grenade launcher/espresso maker combo; and the three chipper doberman pinchers who are trained to reduce any intruder to skeletal remains within 10 seconds of hearing the attack command "Bill collector!"

So, if anybody is disgruntled about today's forecast, I invite you to stop by my office and we can discuss it. I'll be here all day.
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Let me preface this forecast by announcing that, well, Wednesday is going to be a nice day. A beautiful day. All day....guaranteed... Yes, indeed, expect about 28,800 entire seconds of nearly seasonable temperatures and sunlight.

Tonight, well, the situation changes a mite.

A particularly energetic storm system will crash into the region like a pack of enraged Spartans at a Persian picnic. Expect clouds to thicken and lower (clouds only lower when they're mad) and precipitation will begin before sunrise.

Now, we are certain that we'll receive a significant amount of precipitation. The real uncertainty is the type of precipitation. This time of year, our temperatures tend to be at or above freezing, so it is likely that this snow will change over to sleet and rain, or just rain, or all sleet or all snow, or some sleet, some snow, some rain, or all rain..or rain, sleet and freshly catapulted, plague-ridden medieval
Mongolians....and, well, you get the idea.

As it looks now, Southern Maine will receive 2-6" of heavy, wet snow.
The western mountains and central Maine might receive 8-12".

{NOTE: Many of the snow-related deaths are caused by people suffering heart attacks shoveling this type of snow. No, for once, we're not kidding. If you have a medical condition that puts you at risk, leave the snow ALONE!!!! It will melt by this weekend anyway. Stay inside and watch CSI re-runs. If we catch you outside shoveling, we'll send swarms of demonic furies over to your house to smite you with
wiffle ball bats and accordion music.}

The change over to rain will occur by early tomorrow afternoon and may turn back into snow by tomorrow evening.

As mentioned before, due to the uncertainty in the actual local temperatures, snow accumulation totals will vary and are exceedingly difficult to predict.

This powerful storm will end by Friday morning at the latest.

Saturday will have highs in the 50s and we expect a powerful all rain storm on Sunday.

Now, for the no-school predictions (God, am I going to get myself into trouble this time.)

Scale of 1 - 1000 (1 - You're going to school, even if you're onfire! 1000 - Schools are closed until the Universe implodes.)

Southern Maine...um.....ah....500

Central Maine.....ah...well....450

Northern Maine...ha ha ha ha ha......2 (there is always the possibility fissures will open all over Maine and swallow the schools whole.)



So, the turbulent early Spring weather continues.
But, look on the bright side....better snow than flaming embers.

Thank you, Mr. Gleason. A tip of my hat to you.