Come Clean

http://www.comeclean.com/

This website feeds the voyuer in you without feeling too too dirty. Plus you can confess your sins. Its interesting trying to figure out who could be behind the confession. Some of them are lame but others are beauties. And seeing your confession on those beautifully manicured hands is cathartic.

Just a sampling of some of the confessions:

• I fed my roommate's dog dish soap.
• Nsync is awesome.
• I dance around my room in assless chaps sometimes.
• I farted in church.
• My boyfriend is not all that hot but I tell him so to boost his small ego.
• I slept with my boss in the supply room.
• I jizzed in my friend's Gatorade and then she accidentally passed it to her mom.
• I don't brush my teeth.
• I fantasize about my sister-in-law's extremely large chest.
• I stole my neighbor's cat and took it to the pound as a stray.

Stephen Colbert: Candidate for Future Husband

Stephen Colbert on Fresh Air.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4464017


This Week in God. Strangers With Candy. Great geeky dancer. Glasses. Intelligent AND funny. Hmmm...

Jen's Timely Responses to Sara's Scintillating Questions A-Go-Go

So, friends, here it is - my second post, to complement Sara's three-hundred-and-eighty-four. The woman is quite the machine, and I am - obviously - quite the slacker! But, her questions last night filled me with such remorse that I decided it was definitely time for a little quality blog bonding. So... Here we go.

Now, the first question is very tricky: If you had to re-cast a mediocre TV show that you know could be better, what would the TV show be and who would the cast be?

Here's what's tricky about that: I'll watch a mediocre show if it has a great cast and a crappy storyline, but I can't think of a single show that I watch with a crappy cast. It's all about the cast, for me. Take Crossing Jordan, for example. Awesome cast (with the exception of Jerry O'Connell, who just annoys me. But Jill Hennessy; Miguel Ferrer - come on. Yet another balding middle-aged man that I'm disturbingly aroused by), but the writing is CRAP. It's just weird - it'll be going along really well, there's some sexual tension, there are dead bodies, a crazy traumatic backstory... And then, bam, they hit you with some damn Jesus twist. The music rises, and it gets all schmaltzy. What are they doing? It's completely lame. But that's not a very good answer to the question, so, I'm gonna have to keep thinking on this one.

Who would win in a fight, cavemen or astronauts?
Clearly, the cavemen. The dirt fuckers.

What piece of literature knocks your socks off.
Hmm.... A Flag For Sunrise kicked my ass. I didn't want to write anything for days afterward, because every aspect of that novel is gorgeous. It's this political love story, with beautiful language and incredible grace. A great read, anyway you slice it.

Describe my dog.
Well, right now she smells like a grizzly bear. She needs a bath badly, to the point where the hair on her belly will soon be in a dreadlock state. It's really quite unfortunate. She has a tan snout and tan legs and the rest of her is dark brown when all of her hair grows out, but in the summer when she has her haircut, it's much lighter. And she's really big - when I lay down beside her, she's as long as me. When I'm kick-boxing, she curls up in the fetal position and casts disparaging looks my way. Every night, she gets two lowfat turkey hot dogs with her dinner. She prefers the Dixie Chicks to Nine Inch Nails, hates Skindred, and lately has become quite fond of Scissor Sisters. She likes to have the top of her nose scratched, or the inside of her ears. Whenever the National Geographic special on grizzly bears is on, she comes in and watches it with me, and we both agree that having a grizzly bear would be the most fun ever. Moon, however, has made it quite plain that if we get a grizzly bear, it can't sleep in her bed. Or eat her hot dogs.

Okay, now the last one is gonna require a whole separate post, so I'll save that for another day.
And I think that just about does it for this evening's post. I'll be thinking on that whole "What do I want to be when I grow up question," for the next time out, and PROMISE it won't take as long to get it done as last time. Probably. Definitely. Definitely probably.

Rampant Lesbians.... hmmm

"Lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they'll only let one girl go to the bathroom. How is it that that's happened to us?"
-Sen. Tom Coburn, (R-OK) 10/24/04

Well, thank god, I always hated to pee with someone else in the stall with me. And rampant lesbianism, hell, I wish I went to school there. Girls making out in the bathrooms, every grope making them one step closer to that toaster oven.


Supporters to push same-sex marriage ban
CNN: Monday, January 24, 2005
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Senate supporters of a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage said Monday they intend to press for passage in the new Congress, brushing aside mixed signals from the White House on the issue's importance at the start of President Bush's second term.
"Who's to say whether we have enough votes or not," said Sen. Wayne Allard, R-Colorado, noting that the new two-year Congress has just begun.
He said he expects GOP leaders to call for a vote before the 2006 elections and added, "I think it would be foolhardy to back off when we've got a good head of steam coming out of the election." The amendment fell far short of passage a year ago.
The amendment states that marriage "shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman," adding that no state would be required to give legal recognition to same-sex marriages sanctioned by any other state.
Vote counters on both sides of the issue agree that Senate backers of the amendment picked up support in the 2004 elections, and the presence of Sen. John Thune, R-South Dakota at the news conference underscored that. Last fall Thune defeated former Democratic Leader Tom Daschle, who had opposed the amendment.
"There were a lot of races ... where this issue was prominent," Thune said.
Supporters of the amendment mustered only 48 votes last year on a procedural motion needed to keep the proposal alive in the Senate. A two-thirds majority is needed for passage.
Most Democrats signaled their opposition to the measure on the vote, and Bush and others have said it's unlikely there will be much of a change in senatorial sentiment unless there is a court ruling requiring one state to recognize same-sex marriages performed in another.
But Allard said he thought some opponents might reconsider more quickly in the wake of last fall's elections. "I know the Democrats are re-evaluating their position on a number of social issues, and I'll bet this is one of those issues," he said.
There was no immediate evidence of a switch among opponents, though. "The Democratic Party is still opposed to this amendment," said outgoing party chairman Terry McAuliffe. "It is wrong to write discrimination into the U.S. Constitution and it is shameful for Washington Republicans to attack gay and lesbian families for purely political reasons."
In addition to the impact the issue had in congressional campaigns, voters in 13 states approved ballot initiatives last year that were backed by gay marriage opponents.
Bush pushed hard for a vote in both houses of Congress on the amendment during last year's election campaign. This year, he said in a Washington Post interview he will not lobby the Senate to pass the amendment, adding there are not enough supporters to approve the measure. When social conservatives complained, White House communications director Dan Bartlett said Bush was talking about the "legislative reality," and will continue to push for the ban.
Additionally, White House strategist Karl Rove did not mention the issue when he spoke to GOP lawmakers earlier this winter and laid out the president's top priorities.
Nor did the GOP leadership include the measure on its list of top 10 legislative priorities for the next two years, an agenda topped by Bush's call for landmark Social Security legislation and an overhaul of the tax code. Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-Tennessee, said the measure was omitted because it is an amendment rather than traditional legislation, and said he hoped it would pass.

Questions a-go-go

This is a little segment I am calling Questions a-go-go. Why, because, 1.) I am very inquisitive; 2.) the phrase "a-go-go" is highly underused and I feel like it needs more attention; 3.) I want my co-blogger to start writing on here more, and this may get her attention.

These interview questions are for you, Jen.

1. If you had to re-cast a mediocre TV show that you know could be made better, what would the TV show be and who would the cast be?
2. Who would win in a fight: cavemen or astronauts?
3. What piece of literature knocks your socks off?
4. Describe your dog, Moon.
5. If you could be one of the following: spy, vampire, sorceress, superhero, or damsel in distress; which one would you choose? What would you be like? What would you wear? Would you be good or evil?

If you would like to be interviewed, please let me know and I will feature you in a post. Jen, post your answers in a post instead of the comments. Challenge is good! :)

One of very few of my props given to advertising

There are very few advertisements, especially TV ones that get my nod. But there is one that everytime I see it, I smile. It does not piss me off like most do, like beer commericials or ones that focus around a nuclear family with only mildew problems.The ad is the one for Yahoo Personals. Its a montage of shots of people practicing saying "hello" into a mirror getting ready for a date. It has people of many different races, genders, ages, styles, body types and so on. And, their sexual orientation is a mystery. None of the people say, hello sir or babe or chick or anything. You can presume anything. Commericials that leave themselves open-ended like that are more likely to please a wider population. People who think being gay is wrong, will just see those people as straight. People who are gay or see gay as completely natural, can presume that any of the people are going out on same gender dates. I think advertising could learn a bit from this, instead of trying to narrow it down, go broad. Be inclusive. Don't think that the public is heterosexual drones wanting white bread and whole milk for a snack.

Inauguration blues

http://www.oliverwillis.com/node/view/1695


It always makes me feel good to stick it to Fox News. Yeah, the Bacharach woman may have just been saying sounds bites, but its a damn good point. $40 million for an inauguration? I don't care what party you are from, its excessive and a slap in the face to everyone.

Geek points: List 1

You will get points for each statment or quality that is true for yourself. This will be an ongoing list. If you have any to add, please comment away. So, there is no like maximum to have, it will be continuous like life, like geekdom.

• 1 point per action figure you own (GI Joes, HeMan, and Ninja turtles, etc purchased as a child and in the rent's attic do not count)
• 1 point per sci-fi DVD (movies and TV shows)
• 1 point per love and fandom of a TV show and movie(s) (examples: Star Wars, Star Trek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, Alias, X-files, Quantum Leap, and so on. More mainstream shows, such as 90210 or Sex in the City will be applicable if there is extreme fandom of the show.)
• 1 point if you watch some or all of the above show daily
• 1 point per Harry Potter book you have read above the age of 18
• 1 point if you have reread any Harry Potter book
• 1 point if you have ever won at Trivial Pursuit on your own
• 1 point if you check a sci-fi related website daily
• 1 point if you check a DVD and movie review website daily
• 1 point per video game system you own
• 1 point per video and PC game you own
• 1 point per DVD you own
• 1 point for every 10 single comic books you own, and 1 point per trade book
• 1 point if you know what a trade comic book is, and an extra 1 point if you know I might have been wrong in saying "single comic book"
• 1 point if you can name 8 superheroes from both DC and Marvel
• 1 point if you can name 8 villians from both DC and Marvel
• 1 point per complete album collection of a band/artist you have
• 1 point per fan fic you have written
• 1 point per fan website you have created
• 1 point per fan list serve you belong to
• 1 point if your desktop wallpaper relates to your fandom
• 1 point per "ship" you have and are loyal to
• 1 point per piece of merchandise you own related to your fandom (ex: button, magnet, book, poster, etc)

The list will keep on growing.... and maybe I should get one point for that.

random silliness

Jen: I'm gonna have to put the paper to bed on Saturday (he he - how cool is that. I get to put the paper to bed! I don't even know what that means and I'm excited)

Sara: It may mean you end up with ink on your hoohoo.

Warning, tree hugging rant ahead

Excerpts from an AP story on Yahoo: Poll: Americans Hopeful on 2nd Bush Term (italics are my comments. I felt the need for a little political rantiness.)

WASHINGTON - A majority of Americans say they feel hopeful about President Bush's second term and have a generally positive view of him personally, but they also express continued doubts about Iraq.

Um, why do I feel like myself and about everyone I talk to is never polled. But then again, I am highly unpopular and a snobby intellectual.

...Ahead of Bush's inauguration on Thursday, six in 10 people said they felt hopeful about his second term and in response to a separate question 47 percent said they were worried. Most said they were neither angry nor excited about his final four years in office.

I am planning to break out the black. Inauguration Day it will be for mourning, and every other day it will be my ninja kicking ass in activism. Plus, black is very slimming.

....His domestic wish list — with its focus on allowing private accounts in Social Security for younger Americans, limiting lawsuit awards and overhauling the tax laws — could gain momentum from the increased GOP majorities in the House and Senate. Republican lawmakers are showing an increased willingness to challenge Bush's proposals, however.

My domestic wish list: My friends and myself being able to marry who ever the hell they want, affordable college tuition, schools where children can be safe and actually learn and not reaching for an standarized test score, clean air and earth and water, the right to do what you wish with your own body, and for life changing research to be able to happen. And I probably have alot of other crack pot ideas that I would like, such as oh, make sure that we are in Iraq for ethical reasons and either help or get the fuck out. Also, I am tired of seeing those damn magnetic yellow car ribbons that are ripping people off on their patriotism and sympathy. (if I found out that the companies making and selling those ribbons was donating over 80% of their profit to the troops, then I retract that last statement)


....Public perceptions of the president's personal strengths are his biggest asset today. Nearly two-thirds of those polled described Bush as likable, strong and intelligent. A majority said he is dependable and honest.

Likeable, strong and intelligent. I have heard of chimpanzees referred to as the same. I won't even touch dependable and honest. And, yes my new name should be Sour McBitters.

Updated Buy Blue listings

http://www.buyblue.org/rankedlist.php

If you wish to buy from companies that support and donate to the Democratic party, see the list above. There is also an A-Z listing.

Once again, my hatred for Starbucks is at war with myself. Damn, that does smell good.

Sara Recommends 2

Ricola Nature's Protection Vitamin C Drops, Elderberry Flavor
Elderberry? What is this? It's a bit odd at first, but its a refreshing change from the sickening medicinal cherry or too sweet rotting strawberry that some flavorists use. And is flavorist a word? Well, now it is.

Strangers with Candy, Season 3, Episode "Invisible Love"
"Laaaaaaaaird!" Jerri tatoos "Laird" on her arm during class with a Bic Pen. The school throws a make out party, complete with "Live tongue wrestling" posters. This episode, as many of them are, are non-stop hilarity. Now we just need to get those bastards on finishing up the movie. It will be Hiiiiiilarious.

Finally paying off debt
Check is in the mail, bitch! You know who you are.

Colored pencils
Usually I am a Mr. Sketch smelly marker kinda gal, and while those are fun, and free from work, I have had a yen for a different thing to color my world with. Colored pencils are more varied in hues, can create all these different textures, and are just satisfying with their woosh woosh of noise when you color. I do recommend an electric sharpener though. The little plastic ones are a pain in the arse.

Iraq

I have never known many people in the military. I have an uncle who went over to Desert Storm, a cousin in the Air Force based in Oaklahoma, and a few other assorted acquaintance friends who are stationed other places in the U.S. I was too young to understand the ramifications of my uncle being in Desert Storm -- him being over there meant that the song "Voices that Care" that all those celebrities did we more special and we had a yellow ribbon on our coats. I am not that close to him, my family is huge. I saw the green night vision bombings, part of me understood, but I didn't fully comprehend it.

And I don't comprehend what is going on now. But in different ways. I get the impact of it, that people are dying, that more and more soldiers are being sent over there. And now, when no one close to me is over there, I am losing it.

Anytime I listen to NPR pieces on Iraq, those messages from soliders saying Merry Christmas to their families that they air during December, news articles... I weep. Sometimes its just a tear, other times its the feel sick to my toes double over cry. I don't understand why this is pushing me to the edge so much. I mean, I am sitting here watching Queer Eye and they are throwing a wedding for a soldier and him wife, and he is leaving 10 days after the wedding, and I am bawling... and yes, they are doing all the sentimental mood music and such --- but I always tear at that --- this is uncontrollable. (and side note, I do admire the way they handled the episode -- they did not do their typical mocking, and at the end for the tips, they gave advice on how to send care packages over. It was a far cry from the patriotism of the mass produced magnetic car stickers capitalizing on it. I felt it was honoring them versus ripping them off) A better piece though to reference is a show I listened to on This American Life (episode 280). There is this documentary called Off to War that chronicles a reserve unit from Arkansas. I did not realize this, but many of the troops over there are reserves -- which are comprised of many middle aged people. Reservists are people who serve on weekends, not in shape like full time military. They want to serve for their country, and give any way they can, so they do their duty on the weekends. Now they are being shipped over and are often undertrained to be over there. Partcially because the trainers have not come across what is happening over there now.
http://times.discovery.com/convergence/offtowar/offtowar.html
http://www.thislife.org/ Episode 280

I know I am not even saying this well, I don't even know how I can begin to. I just have this reaction, this empathic pain that is probably just shallow compared to what the soldiers and their families are going through. Some bleeding heart crying over pain she does not know. But I do. And I don't know why we are over there. I could go into some political rant, but I won't. I just will simply say I don't understand. I don't understand who we are fighting. What we are protecting. Why they are not properly equipped to be over there. What it is like to send someone over there. I keep on saying that. I don't understand, I don't understand. I just feel.

The Fever Strikes

Okay, so here it is... My first post. Truth be told, I've only been putting this off because Sara is so damned clever that I couldn't hope to compete. But now I'm sitting at home with the Dread Stonecoast Flu, my ever-faithful pooch at my feet (it's not that she's being sweet - she's waiting for me to take her for a walk, and I'm resisting, so now she's pretending she's gone into a coma from having to hold it for so long. At least, I think she's pretending), cooking up yet another batch of chicken soup. Tainted Love is playing on the computer, but my speakers keep fading in and out, or else my head is so clogged that it's actually my hearing that's fading in and out, it's hard to say. And here's my question for this particular post, because it seems like I should have some kind of goal in mind when posting, rather than just randomly ranting about whatever comes to mind. So - my question:

Is it just the fever, or is The Bachelorette a genuinely brilliant show?

Last night, eyes glazed, nose flaking and peeling from using environmentally sound toilet paper as tissue, I was flipping channels. Originally, I stuck with the go-to station: TNT, and their neverending supply of Law and Order marathons. But, at nine, it was an episode I'd already seen, so I was forced to continue searching. First, I stopped on Fear Factor, which for some reason, still pulls me in every so often - last night, it was because there was a cute sassy girl with multi-colored hair, and they weren't to the grossout eating portion of the program. But then they got out a whole bunch of earthworms, and I knew it was time to turn the station - but first, I'd like to know where Peta is when these people are chewing up live earthworms and spitting up grasshoppers and stuff? I mean, I know they aren't the most sentient creatures on the planet (the earthworms, not the people from Fear Factor, though I suppose a case could be made in either instance), but seriously... That's just gross, man. And they're alive, and squiggling. If Mary Tyler Moore can take out whole ads in the name of the lobster, where are the earthworm picket lines?

ANYWAY, once the cute sassy girl was out of the running on Fear Factor, I was back to flipping channels, and I came across The Bachelorette. Which I totally wouldn't have watched, except that - and here's where you're gonna get too much information - I was listening to a commentary for Felicity (that's right, Felicity - you got a problem with that?), and Scott Foley and Keri Russell were discussing The Bachelorette. Not this season, of course, but a previous season, and they sounded so chummy and excited about it that I decided I should just give it a chance. Just so that I would be informed, you know? So that, if I ever become pals with Keri or Scott, and we're lounging poolside and they happen to ask, "So, Jen, did you catch the Bachelorette last week?", then I can respond with either a derisively superior snort of contempt, or I can be all, "I totally did, and what a great show." I'm just looking out for my future here.

So, now that we've got that straightened out... For those few who may not have a working knowledge of The Bachelorette, I'll provide that for you now. See, from what I understand, there was this show called The Bachelor, and this chic Jen something-or-other was very popular on that show. From what I gather, the Bachelor's name was Andy, and things didn't end well between Jen and Andy. So everyone in TV-Land and beyond got together because they thought this Jen person was such a sweet and feisty Gal-Done-Wrong, and they made her The Bachelorette (at least for this season - I don't know what the hell happened in previous seasons, you've gotta look that up elsewhere). So now, Jen gets to hang out in this great mansion and the TV higher-ups choose twenty-five good looking fellas to woo her and potentially become her mate for life. There may be cash prizes involved as well, but I'm not entirely clear on that.

Last night, I only watched the last hour of it. At the end of the episode, Jen had fourteen roses and twenty-five bachelors - What's a girl to do, you ask? As far as I can tell, she picked all of the tallest guys, and then the cutest short ones. Except for this one guy named Stu, who's a total freak and, frankly, I don't know what she was thinking, giving him the last rose. There will be no good with that guy, I guarantee it. There's a cute Frenchie named Febreeze (I swear), who's all about - from what I gathered from the previews - Sex Sex Sex. Then there's a virgin in there somewhere, but he was one of the tall brunettes, and so he frankly sort of blended in with all the other tall brunettes. There was a really annoying drunk Kentucky guy, but he didn't get a rose, and there was a journalist with squinty little eyes. He had potential (because he was a writer, of course), but he hit on Jen's spy-waitress gal-pals, so he naturally didn't get a rose.

Then there was this guy named David, who was already giving me the creeps because his head was a perfect rectangle and he had sort of this David Schwimmer look going, only he was littler than David Schwimmer, and kind of twitchy... But it turns out he might have only been twitchy because his blood sugar was plummeting, because right in the middle of the rose-giving ceremony, what should happen? David just up and passes out. Everyone was naturally very freaked out, and Jen went over to the guy and asked if he needed anything... I was totally hoping he'd ask for a rose, but, sadly, he didn't. Jen handled the whole thing quite well and then got on with the whole emasculation process - I have to say, it made a definite impression that she didn't give woozy-David Schwimmer a pity rose; this chic's definitely taking this very seriously. No prisoners in this show, man.

The previews for the rest of the season showed a lot of lovely scenic New York spots, kissing and groping and many shows of testosterone, and a number of segments in which Jen cries about her plight. All in all, it looks to be a scintillating season in the making.

So, that's it. I watched The Bachelorette. I'm probably gonna watch it again. This is what happens when Joss goes off the air.

Wegmans Tops Fortune's Best-Employer List

So, being the big Wegmans whore that I am, I had to share this article I found on Yahoo this morning.

***

By BEN DOBBIN, Associated Press Writer
ROCHESTER, N.Y. - Wegmans Food Markets, a grocery chain whose motto is "employees first, customers second," topped Fortune's eighth annual list of the best 100 companies to work for in America, the magazine said Monday.

The 89-year-old, family-owned business credited with helping pioneer "one-stop shopping," scored high marks on employee surveys of job satisfaction and communication with management, among the biggest factors in determining the list.

Runner-up was Gore-Tex fabric maker W.L. Gore of Newark, Del., followed by Republic Bancorp, a mortgage banker in Ann Arbor, Mich., biotechnology giant Genentech Inc. of South San Francisco, Calif., and Xilinx Inc., a chip-maker in San Jose, Calif.

Above-average employee satisfaction has been a lifelong goal, said Robert Wegman, the 86-year-old company chairman, who led the company to $3.4 billion in sales last year. "I've been aiming for that for 54 years and it's taken a long while to hit the target but I've finally got there," he said. "It's hard for me to walk through a store without customers stopping me and saying, `Mr. Wegman, you've got a great store but, wow, are your people something else.'"

At Wegmans' 67 emporiums in four states, 32,800 workers are paid hourly wages at the high end of the market and offered a $3 per week health insurance premium, resulting in a 6 percent annual turnover rate among full-time employees, compared with a 19 percent rate among competitors.

***

Usually I am completely anti-big corporation (any of you who have seen me shiver in disgust when Starbucks is mentioned can attest to that), but Wegmans holds a soft spot in my heart. Almost my whole extended family has worked there and some of them have gone to college on scholarships from them. We are a Wegmans family. And Jay will groan, for he has heard the story numerous times, but one time in the employee news letter for Wegmans, they took a picture of the whole family -- literally about 50 people, and called us a Wegmans family. Wicked cheesy, I know.

For those that do not know, Wegmans is the grocery store to leave all the rest in shame. Its huge, and they serve good food for dinners and such: chinese, pizza, sushi, italian, and the best subs I have ever had. Plus, alot of them are open 24 hours for good random fun for high school teens that are bored, aka scavenger hunts. And if you have never been on one, then I can give you details about how to do one. Its much fun.

Ask any Western New Yorker about moving away, and ask them if they miss Wegmans. A majority of the time they will give a little sigh and say yes. Or at least I do

http://www.wegmans.com/