Good day/bad day

Good: Six Feet Under Season 5 out on DVD today
Bad: Netflix says "Short Wait". Do they know who I am? Pffft.

Good: Slept well...
Bad: Until 9... work schmork

Good: Hanging out with the Dynamic Duo tonight.
Bad: There is no bad there. Unless Torrey talks about his goiters. And then, its all over.

Good: Burt's Bees Orange Face Cleanser. Something about this reminds me of being a kid. Its bright orange, smells great, and it looks a little like marmalade when you are putting it on. It's a great tactile feeling in the morning. Plus, when my sister was little she had excema and mom would have to put cream on her, and she hated it. So my mom would joke around and be like, "Ohhhh I am putting peanut butter on you. Here is the fluffernutter!" And my sister would laugh too hard to even worry about the hating of the cream.
Bad: For a crappy complexion. I am glowing.

Poem by Alan Ziegler

Love At First Sight

It was a novelty-store and he went in just for the novelty
of it. She was in front of the counter, listening to the old
proprietor say: "I have here one of those illusion paintings,
a rare one. You either see a beautiful couple making love,
or a skull. They say this one was used by Freud himself on
his patients—if at first sight you see the couple, then you are
a lover of life and love. But if you focus on the skull first,
you're closely involved with death, and there's not much hope
for you."
With that, the proprietor unwrapped the painting. They
both hesitated, looked at the picture, then at each other. They
both saw the skull. And have been together ever since.

-Alan Ziegler

100 Best First Lines from Novels from the American Book Review

Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board. —Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God (1937)

Do you think there are any that were missed? Or any that just do not belong. Some of them I questioned, but I think that is part because I have not read the novel, so the context is lost. Like the Slaughterhouse Five first line is good, but more textured when put into context of the novel(All this happened, more or less.). Same with Morrison's Beloved first line (124 was spiteful.).

But others are just brilliant on their own (at least to me):

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
—Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.
—C. S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person.
—Anne Tyler, Back When We Were Grownups

He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad.
—Raphael Sabatini, Scaramouche

When I finally caught up with Abraham Trahearne, he was drinking beer with an alcoholic bulldog named Fireball Roberts in a ramshackle joint just outside of Sonoma, California, drinking the heart right out of a fine spring afternoon.
—James Crumley, The Last Good Kiss

Reasons why you should hire me

*I am good at smiling.
*My mom will bake for you.
*I can make the Xena yell and weird dolphin noises.
*I know how to make animal balloons. Specifically a dog, parrot, flower and a turtle.
*Knowledge of random information
*I can knit and crochet, isn't that diverse?
*Professional clown. Auguste, but I know whiteface and hobo. Hmm, let's be impressed instead of frightened.
*I make killer milkshakes.
*Proficient in resumes.
*I know a lot of poets. Wait, don't walk away, we are cool... trust me
*Okay, I realize that saying you are cool decreases the actual amount of cool you have. And knowing is half the battle, eh?

Things that, as my friends, you need to remind me to never do again

* Go to Denny's after midnight.

* Go to Denny's and order anything involving grease. Just convince me to get ice cream.

* Go to Denny's. Ever.

Post-Oscar rant

Best Picture: Crash

I demand a recount.