Seven things about my sister

1. Her middle name is Hunter. My parents were going to give it to me if I was a boy. No dice. So they decided to give it to the next kid in line regardless of gender.
2. She cried when she thought Fox Mulder actually killed himself.
3. She had a carnival goldfish that lived for way way too long -- like 5 years.
4. She lived in the same room one of my friends did her freshman year at Fredonia.
5. She wrote a story in 3rd grade about how I forgot my bathing suit camping one time. It made me really mad she wrote it.... I am not sure why, it was not THAT embarrassing, but it still makes me mad today -- just on principle.
6. She sleeps with one arm thrown with abandon over her head.
7. Today is her birthday!

Observations made by the nerdy work side of my brain

I saw Superbad this weekend. (Michael Cera shined, and it was overall funny, but lacking the qualities that I adore in 40-year Old Virgin). There was a moment that bothered me in the movie. And it was one of those nerdy technical details. Michael Cera's character, Evan, is in math class. He is a senior in his last two weeks of high school. He is Dartmouth bound in the fall. He, and all of his classmates have Algebra II books on their desks.

NO WAY would a Dartmouth bound student be taking AII their senior year. They would have to be in Pre-Calc minimally, and even that is a stretch.

Come on! Evan is supposed to be wicked smart, and you slap an AII book on his desk! Please! Give the man some crazy hard Calculus!


And if you have not seen the web show, Clark and Michael, yet--you really should. You will some Arrested Development folk in there too. If I was 15, I would be TigerBeat wallpapering my room with Michael Cera. But I am not. So, I *clearly* don't.

Seven things to do this fall

1. Watch Pushing Daisies.
2. Eat and make as many pumpkin things as possible.
3. Mull things. Wine and cider, mostly.
4. Leaf peep as much as possible. Even the natives can appreciate that.
5. Cider donuts, find them and devour them.
6. Have a bonfire somewhere. Crisp cold and toasty goodness.
7. Think of a kick ass Halloween costume.
   

Hipster Olympics

I know another video, but still a good time anyway.

Office Summer Vacation

Warning, there may be some spoilers, but it is awesomeness in a milkshake and more.

Seven things about hair

1. My new favorite shampoo and conditioner combo is Whole Foods 365 Herbal Mint. It smells great in the morning and really does leave my hair very soft all day long.
2. Even if I have not looked in the mirror, I can tell its a bad hair day. It just sends little sensors to my brain that say, "Screw you, we are doing what we want today. Beauty be damned!"
3. I remember getting braids so tight on my head as a kid, that when they were taken out at the end of the day, the relief of it felt so good.
4. I can see why dogs love to get their head scratched and petted. It feels a big like I am a pet, but when someone plays with my hair, it reduces me to that furry animal sitting on the carpet, eyes closed with the pleasure of it all.
5. I almost shaved my head in college. Thank you Jay for not letting me.
6. Speaking of college, I also had a streak of it dyed blue. I had it home for Christmas and my uncles said that it looked like a smurf pooped on my head. And honestly, I don't think smurfs pooped blue. Do I poop a pinkish color of flesh..... no.
7. No woman with a mullett has ever looked good.
   

I love stranger crushes

This was the poem of the day on the Writer's Almanac. And it perfectly sums up the stranger crush.

Why I Have A Crush On You, UPS Man
-Alice N. Persons

you bring me all the things I order
are never in a bad mood
always have a jaunty wave as you drive away
look good in your brown shorts
we have an ideal uncomplicated relationship
you're like a cute boyfriend with great legs
who always brings the perfect present
(why, it's just what I've always wanted!)
and then is considerate enough to go away
oh, UPS Man, let's hop in your clean brown truck and elope !
ditch your job, I'll ditch mine
let's hit the road for Brownsville
and tempt each other
with all the luscious brown foods —
roast beef, dark chocolate,
brownies, Guinness, homemade pumpernickel, molasses cookies
I'll make you my mama's bourbon pecan pie
we'll give all the packages to kind looking strangers
live in a cozy wood cabin
with a brown dog or two
and a black and brown tabby
I'm serious, UPS Man. Let's do it.
Where do I sign?

TV pillow

Another amazing creation by me. Though there was no magenta fabric, so I had to go pink. I am quite proud of this one.

Why is Hello Kitty dressed like a hooker?!

Please don't even ask me why I was on this site. I just happened to search Hello Kitty out of sheer boredom. And apparently she is a street walker! Go ahead and make all of the p-word jokes you want. I find it kinda disturbing.

Pushing Daisies

The fact that this is narrated by Jim Dale makes me want to watch this even more. It has some Dead Like Me and Wonderfalls people working on it too. And that tall drink of water Lee Pace does not hurt either!

Seven new names for the days of the week

1. Sleepinday
2. Workday
3. Herb
4. Nevercallmehumpday
5. MightawellbeFriday
6. New Saturday
7. Myday
   

More from my favorite astronomer

Once again, ladies and gentlemen, I bring you Edward Gleason:

From the USM Southworth Planetarium
"In a manner of speaking...."
THE DAILY ASTRONOMER
July 26, 2007
Mars Madness



Our sincerest apologies!
The sound that just thundered across the terrain causing windows to splinter, asphalt to crack, cars to suddenly brake, and hearts to cease was the abject screaming from the remotest depths of the Southworth Planetarium.
Finally, after having for so long set the standard of sanity for the entire Science Building (an impressive accomplishment), we've lost our minds!

Why, you might ask, would we have succumbed to such a nerve disorder? Simple: the Internet Mars announcements are not going away! They continue, despite our ardent pleas to the heavens, our appeals to Google, and our unrelenting campaign against the dissemination of
misinformation. (well, at least the misinformation that doesn't result in a tidy profit).

We figured that since we're all now irreversibly batty, why not propel you into madness, too, with another article about Mars.

First of all: here is what's NOT going to happen on August 27, 2007:

Mars will NOT be closer to us than it has been in 60,000 years.
Mars will NOT be the size of the full Moon.
Mars will NOT cause higher tides and interruptions in the communication infrastructure
and Mars will NOT don a cane and top hat, lock arms with the Moon and sing, "Yes, we have no bananas."
(I told you we've lost our minds.)

This perennial internet announcement is based upon an event that happened about four years ago.

At the end of August 2003, Mars was closer to Earth than it had been in the previous 60,000 years. At this close approach, it looked like a bright, ruddy-red star. Quite lovely, but not nearly as large in our sky as the Full Moon. The only way Mars would ever appear that big is
if one of those ultra mega-giants from the epsilon sector of the Galaxy picked up Mars and in an indignant fit, threw it at us!

So, let us assure you in a serene and friendly manner, that none of these Mars rumours are true.
Mars will look like a moderately bright red-star like object in the post-Midnight August sky. A beguiling sight for the star watcher, to be sure, but not nearly as amazing as these alerts suggest.

PLEASE do the world in general and us in particular the great service of forwarding this announcement to every single person you've ever met. Inform all the recipients that they must forward these announcements to everybody they know or else they'll be jinxed for five years, their coffee will spill, their luggage will be rifled through by over enthusiastic garden gnomes, and the love of their life will turn into one of those spore-emitting mushrooms that everybody playfully kicks on nature walks.

La la la la Lemon

Forgive me for being video heavy lately. I could not resist this one though. And no my ovaries are not pulsing with the tick of the biological clock -- I just thought this was hilarious. Being new to the world, you don't have to hide anything -- your initial reactions to things can be honest and raw. Imagine discovering your favorite -- or unfavorite -- tastes for the first time. Its brilliant.

This could be what the US prison system is lacking: DANCE!

I still wish I could freeze frame Michael Jackson after the Thriller album. Happy memories.

A nice black Mercedes for sure. BMWs is very new money.

I think I just vomited in my mouth. This article about the DC young "elite" crowd scares me just as much as He Who Must Not Be Named.

I'm from Barcelona

One of my co-workers loves to give me random bands to listen to -- and its one of the best musical discovery things ever. Cause he will tell me the band and a snippet about them -- but not go into why they are the best thing, and over opinion me before I can check them out myself. Now granted.... sometimes fandom is passionate and I even have a hard time checking the opinion at the sharing door. He sent me this video for I'm From Barcelona and its the first song I have heard from them -- and I am smitten. The video alone makes me want to know them and love them and squeeze them and call them george.

Seven words I use too often

1. Clearly
2. Dude
3. Absolutely
4. Actually
5. Not (but pronounced in the western New York nasal: naaaat!)
6. Typically
7. Birthday (though mostly this is contained within the question of the date of birth. I have to know people's signs. slight obsession.)
   

Seven things I think could make for a great day

1. Laughing so hard that I snort several times
2. A good weather day -- and being outside for it
3. Eating something really comforting or wonderful
4. Time escapes you in the good way, where you never really pay attention to the clock
5. Learning something new, even if it is something simple, like a factoid to store away for trivial pursuit
6. Wearing something I like. Might not be the height of fashion, but something I like to move around in
7. The radio or the ipod on shuffle hits the right songs at least twice in a row
   

Seven business ventures I would love to have gobs of money for

1. Craft studio to hold classes in for people that might not be able to afford to buy all the supplies -- and have a coffee shop attached
   
2. Bookstore (including a good comic and indie magazine section) with a great reading and quiet writing space when its not a reading space - with a coffee shop attached
3. Rent a living room: Ever been hanging out with friends but you just would rather be in a space just for you, but you can't necessarily go back to someone's because of location, parents, roommates, small apt of your own? This strikes me the most when I am at home visiting rents around the holidays and seeing college friends. Would include board games to borrow, simple snacks and of course, a coffee shop.
4. Center for Maine Youth Leadership: this may not technically be a business, but it would be wonderful. It could be a center for workshops and collecting and assigning volunteer events. It would have some offices for student interns, a good conference room, a living room type lounge, a small studio for audio and visual, and a gallery. And would some how include coffee.
5. Personal music shopper: Tell me what you like and I will research it for you. Give me an event and I will collect music for it. Will give it to you with a cup of coffee.
   
6. Game inventor -- Make random games for whenever you need one. For example, one of my greatest inventions was Truth darts. Land on a multiple of three and you get to ask a question of anyone. Land on 8 and you have to tell us a guilty pleasure. And so on. Photo Scavenger hunt would also be one! Coffee shops also need some type of game too.
   
7. Invent triangle shaped ketchup packets. Makes sense, eh?
   

Interviews about feminism, subtitle: I think I would want to meet Anthony

On so many levels this video makes me want to vomit. Maybe on some of their doorsteps.

I get teary... go figure

Honestly, this really was just beautifully pure and simple and struck me. "Somewhere over the rainbow" really gets to me when it's done right.

Seven things about campfires

1. Old dried up Christmas trees are the most wonderful things to see thrown onto a campfire. I would say it rivals... or may be better than fireworks.
2. Smores are only to be eaten near a fire and prepared at it. Preferably with a stick you just found in the dark and you no longer care about dirt or worms. Just melted chocolately goodness. (Sidebar: Usually I do not find the need to go all foodnetwork on my smores -- the plain ol hershey will do just fine -- but I admit the extra wow factor for me happens when I used the special darks in the Hersheys assorted minatures)
3. Conversations are just better near a fire. I think silences are more comfortable too. People stare into the fire and not talk - and its really ok.
4. I love the symbolism of burning old letters or notebooks in the fire -- but have never brought myself to do it.
5. A gathering is automatically assured to be more memorable and wonderful if it includes one.
6. I kinda love the smell of the campfire on my clothes after I leave it. If I could, most times I would sit there until it burned down to its embers all orange and wicked in the dark. Taking a sense of it with me reminds me that someday I probably will.
   
7. I like how campfires are a common experience for most people: fascinating, calming, inspiring, and brings you back to an almost primitive place you forget you have inside you. It makes you feel a little less alone, or at least it does for me.
   

Seven things I would make you for dinner because I make these things really well

1. Spinach and artichoke dip
2. Twice baked garlic potatoes
3. Butternut squash apple soup
   
4. Chicken Peprikash -tomato/sour cream chicken goodness over rice
   
5. Butter Chicken - Indian food
   
6. Assorted milkshakes involving oreos, peanut butter and espresso fudge sauce
   
7. Pumpkin Whoopie Pies
   

Maine Youth Leadership

Slide show from the 2007 seminar



I don't think that I really have ever gotten over the pains of high school until they showed me how. High school has always kind of haunted me, but those specters are fading with every cheer, riotous laugh, words of compassion and looking at them want to not give up on this world. I think its kind of weird that at 30 years old I have finally accepted the 15 year old in me -- or at least put a hand out to her and said its okay. Because it really is.

Plus, how much fun does this look:

He's grrrrrrrrrrreat!

Story about Quinn, one of the MYL students that rocks my socks. Literally, they are jamming little socks.

Color me impressed in blue and white

I have always been very critical of athletes that get special treatment. In professional world and in the collegiate world, I just find it disappointing that it happens time and time again. Now, some people might retort that there are many other types of people that get that kind of privledge -- and yes I know that and yes it still pisses me off. I guess the geek in me that got picked on by the super athletes in high school is still a little bitter. Get over it, I clearly am trying to, though it does not keep me awake at night worrying about it.

I read this article about coach Joe Paterno's creative way to send a message to his Penn State football team. The team was involved in a fight and it was embarrassing according to Paterno. Rightfully so. The kind of mob mentality is what gets to me at times -- even when there is not an organization that holds the mob together. He is making the team clean the stadium after the home games this season. I think it's brilliant. I am sure these DI athletes are afforded some extra privledges, and I think this will be a grounding experience for them.

I admire Paterno for this. Not because its cruel or that I revel in seeing the team do something demeaning (though its hard honest work for many people in this nation, and no where near as degradating as other things in this country). I admire him for wanting to prove to the university, to the athletic community, and to the team itself that they are not the grunting mindless thugs that the incident made them out to be. They can be (and most likely are) better human beings than that.

I just hope the athletes take it seriously and can really reflect on what happened. Show that they can be on an effective team and deserve the attention and heroism they receive by playing a game they love.

Seven movies coming out on my top list to see

1. The Golden Compass: I think the casting of Nicole Kidman is brilliant. She is who I saw in my mind when reading the book. And the polar bear looks amazing! Though slight thumbs down for the use of the Lord of the Rings in the trailer (see the trailer here).
2. Waitress: I know its on that borderline of romantic comedy that I do not like to cross that often, but it looks brilliant, and I cannot deny Nathan Fillion anything. Seriously. Except maybe Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place.
3. Knocked Up: Just as I cannot deny Capt Tightpants anything, I must obey Judd Apatow. Plus the reuniting of some cast from both Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared -- lovely. Plus, I think I crush a little on Seth Rogen.
4. Goners: Joss' project coming out... who knows when. Just like other projects he has worked on, this might get crushed. Sad.
5. Ratatouille: You can't go wrong with Pixar. Granted Cars was not the greatest in my mind, but it was still enjoyable. Plus, I enjoy Patton Oswald quite a bit -- so his vocal performance should be great.
   
6. Nancy Drew: Its debateable whether or not I will see this in the theatre. I have some hope for it because its co-written and directed by Andrew Fleming -- who also wrote for Arrested Development. I saw the trailer and I think it looks charming and I like the portrayal of Nancy -- she is not modernified to be a smart carbon copy of a Laguna Beach girl. I find that refreshing. Makes me wish I had a niece or babysitting gig to take the kids to see it. Plus, I love girl sleuths.
   
7. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
   
   

Seven things about jury duty

1. You really are just a number.
2. Comfort of seating or room temperature is never ever taken into consideration.
3. The crazy old woman you almost hit with your car before getting there WILL be the woman you sit next to for 3 hours. On a hard wooden bench.
4. I think that there is a mandatory outspoken old man who does not want to be there. He bitches and speaks up whenever he can. Secretly, I think we all cheer for him.
5. The people sitting behind me were wicked obnoxious during the laywer-judge sidebar. I wanted to tell them to shut it. Then the judge did in the coolest way possible: "Excuse me this is not a bar. Someone's liberty is at stake here, I highly suggest you be quiet and respect it."
   
6. Speaking of the judge - she was amazing. She even injected that appropriate amount of humor into the questioning that was almost breathtaking to observe. If there was to be a judge written by Aaron Sorkin -- it would have been her. She was the best part of jury duty.
7. Juror #134 is adorable. (I think that was his number, I was too busy trying to stop myself from jumping over and licking his arm tattoos to remember his number.) I love stranger crushes.
   

Words can not express the awesomeness of this poster

Word association starts local woman's workday off with a stupid start

My home page is Dictionary.com's Word of the Day. Cause, I love them words. I am sitting here eating my office breakfast of celery sticks and peanut butter Puffin cereal - dry. I read the word and think: 1. Weird coincidence. 2. What a simple and dumb word to have for the day. Everyone knows what "celery" is. This did not expand my vocabulary one bit. I even start to feel a little cheated.

Then I read it again.

This is today's word:

celerity \suh-LAIR-uh-tee\, noun:
Rapidity of motion or action; quickness; swiftness.

Seven things that have lived up to my expectations

1. Philadelphia
2. Each Harry Potter book
3. Vermont in the Fall
4. Almost any recipe I get off of the Food Network
5. College at Fredonia
6. Living off campus
7. Earth Shoes and how they are comfortable from the first day on
   

Seven things that have disappointed me

1. Spiderman 3
2. Elmwood Street in Buffalo.... until we finally got to the cool parts
3. The inability in some people to know their limits
4. Sarah Michelle Gellar's blindness to embrace her portrayal of Buffy
5. FOX networks -- just all around really
6. Gravity
7. The pace of environmental legislation and action
   

Threadless junkie

I have realized over the past year I have almost replaced all of my old res life or other assorted staff t-shirts with Threadless ones. This one is currently my favorite:

It's called "Lions are Smarter than I am"

They also do this street team thing where people can earn points if they refer a friend. So, if you ever happen to be remotely interested in buying any of their shirts.... perhaps you could use this link and help a sister out. Much appreciated!

Seven things in on my desk that make work bearable

1. My iPod with headphones -- the headphones are clutch in this situation. My office right by the copier and in close proximity to two other work stations. I need a little rock and roll to keep me rolling.
2. My miniature of the spaceship Serenity.
3. Cutout of the Potter Puppet pal version of Dumbledore that Saucier gave me tacked up on my bulletin board.
4. Many different colored pens from gel to ballpoint to felt tip. I am pen picky.
   
5. Wite Out tape from Bic. And yes, I spelled that correctly. I use it almost every 3 minutes when doing decision sheets.
6. Day calendar -- its Trivial Pursuit this year. In the past its been Poem a day. I am not too impressed with the TP one -- which is sad to me. I do covet my co-workers Fact or Crap one though. That trivia on that one puts mine to shame.
7. Finger puppet versions of Dorothy Parker and Frieda Kahlo.
   

Good bye, Casco Bay Books

I am going to miss that damn little store.

I still stopped in even after you turned half of it into a clothes store that I never stepped foot in. I may be part hipster, but even that was too much for me. Sorry, I know honesty hurts.

I loved your coffee. It was you that introduced me to the Red Eye Chai. You that got me even more hooked on McSweeneys. You that had Bitch magazine displayed so it winked and flirted with me to buy it. You where I sat and read. You where I constantly brought people to get coffee instead of Starbucks. You where I heard Lewis and Steve Almond read with my various Stonecoast comrades. You where I could have my many loves in close proximity -- comics from Casablanca just a mere footsteps away from battered old used poetry books. You became engrained in some of the best parts of my Portland sense memories. Now that the Portland Public Market has closed and left me, what am I to do?

I am going to miss you. Good bye, friend. I think I had a crush on you, but was never able to tell you until it was too late

Geek love is hot love

Finally, validation for what I have known all along.

That daquiri is not gay, its healthy!

Fruity cocktails count as health food, study finds

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- A fruity cocktail may not only be fun to drink but may count as health food, U.S. and Thai researchers say.

Adding ethanol -- the type of alcohol found in rum, vodka, tequila and other spirits -- boosted the antioxidant nutrients in strawberries and blackberries, the researchers found.

Any colored fruit might be made even more healthful with the addition of a splash of alcohol, they report in the Journal of the Science of Food and Agriculture.

Dr. Korakot Chanjirakul and colleagues at Kasetsart University in Thailand and scientists at the U.S. Department of Agriculture stumbled upon their finding unexpectedly.

They were exploring ways to help keep strawberries fresh during storage. Treating the berries with alcohol increased in antioxidant capacity and free radical scavenging activity, they found.

Any colored fruit or vegetable is rich in antioxidants, which are chemicals that can cancel out the cell-damaging effects of compounds called free radicals.

Berries, for instance, contain compounds known as polyphenols and anthocyanins. People who eat more of these fruits and vegetables have a documented lower risk of cancer, heart disease and some neurological diseases.

The study did not address whether adding a little cocktail umbrella enhanced the effects.

Usually a beer or wine person, this does have me rethink the other cocktails. Or better yet, lets do that breakfast smoothie with a little dash of rum -- it might add a little kick to the AM commute. Or a jail sentence....

July is the month of the Potter.

wow. that's all i can say

From the Slog, stranger blog online, this comes from Dan Savage:

Grab a calculator.

1. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code)

2. Multiply by 80

3. Add 1

4. Multiply by 250

5. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number

6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again

7. Subtract 250

8. Divide by 2

Recognize the answer?

Can someone explain to me--before I get stoned--how the fuck this works?

Seven nicknames that I may or may not have coined that you can use at your leisure

1. FanClub - If someone is overly crushing on your friend or whomever and going to things to just be in their presence and look at them when clearly they had no reason to be there, you can call the crusher this for code.
   
2. Door Bitch - The person in class who is just outright negative and thinks they know everything. Usually they sit by the door to avoid contact with lesser beings.
3. Glitter - For someone who wears glitter on a non-holiday or an ocassion that clearly does not call for it.
4. Dice K - for a friend about to throw a snowball at you and you want them to stop.
5. Big Face - For anyone who's face is out of proportion with their body. (Clearly I never use this one anymore, but I was low enough at one time to use this.
6. Sauages and Cereal - For the person who claims to exsist on this for their diet. Also works for other pairings of food items (Water and Lettuce, Bacon and Fritos, etc.)
7. Private Dancer - The person who is clearly dancing alone at a club and is totally oblivious to the fact. Sometimes its confidence that calls this beast to the floor, other times its ignorance that their friends left, but many many times, its alcohol and the beat of the rhythm of the night.
   

Will Ferrell vs. the Meanest Landlord I have ever laid eyes on

I love it when this happens, except when people use it to say "nucking futs"!

Dictionary.com word of the day:

spoonerism \SPOO-nuh-riz-uhm\, noun:
The transposition of usually initial sounds in a pair of words.

* We all know what it is to have a half-warmed fish ["half-formed wish"] inside us.
* The Lord is a shoving leopard ["loving shepherd"].
* It is kisstomary to cuss ["customary to kiss"] the bride.
* Is the bean dizzy ["dean busy"]?
* When the boys come back from France, we'll have the hags flung out ["flags hung out"]!
* Let me sew you to your sheet ["show you to your seat"].

Spoonerism comes from the name of the Rev. William Archibald Spooner (1844-1930), a kindly but nervous Anglican clergyman and educationalist. All the above examples were committed by (or attributed to) him.

Potentially this is me in 50 years

Seven of my favorite posts from Overheard in the Office

Overheard in the Office link


1. Peon #1: Greenfield Community College has gone communist -- they're doing Vagina Monologues.
Peon #2: Don't get me started on Greenfield's vaginas.

University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts

2. Young wife sighing: All I pray for is a gay son.
Husband: All our sons will be straight.
Young wife: Just the youngest one can be gay. I need one gay son. You won't even notice.
Husband: No, it won't happen. Costa Ricans don't have gay sons. And I want my name passed on.
Young wife: I'll wait until you go to work, then put makeup and heels on him and let him be himself. I need someone to talk to when you are gone.

Sandwich shop
Woodcliff Lake, New Jersey

3. Employee #1: What are you doing?
Employee #2: A crossword. What's the capital of Maine? Is it Rhode Island?

Lombard and Buchanan Street
San Francisco, California

4. Associate: You need something?
Woman: Yeah, maybe you know. Which are the nails they used to crucify Christ with?
Associate: ... Uh, maybe these?
Woman: Right. I don't think those are the ones I'm looking for, but you're on the right track.

Home Depot
Virginia

5. Supervisor #1: Anyone want any chocolate? I have three pounds.
Supervisor #2: From the boyfriend, huh?
Supervisor #3: I don't think I could eat three pounds of anything. What could I eat three pounds of?
Supervisor #1: Ice cream. I could eat three pounds of ice cream.
Supervisor #3: I could definitely eat three pounds of ice cream. That's kind of a gross thought, though.
Supervisor #1: It's like eating a preemie.

200 New Canton Way
Robbinsville, New Jersey

6. Peon: I've seen her before at bars, but now she's just different... She's more cold now.
Intern: It's just sobriety. It changes people.
Peon: Good point. Wait, aren't you, like, 19?
Intern, offended: I'm 20.

F Street
Washington, DC

7.Office worker: I can't get into MAS. My codes aren't working.
Tech, after trying to enter codes: What the fuck? Now the numbers aren't even coming up.
Office worker, five minutes later: Uh, dude, you're using my calculator.
Tech: Son of a bitch!

Illinois

Winter storm warning from my favorite weather guy, Ed Gleason

Seriously, this man is the Jon Stewart of weather and astronomy.

From the USM Southworth Planetarium
"If you don't like the weather, wait a month."
WINTER WEATHER
April 11, 2007
Posted 11:13 a.m. in a state of nerve-fraying panic

************************************************************************************
Before posting the forecast, I just wanted to proudly announce that this weekend I cleaned my office. One benefit of cleaning one's office is that one finds items that one thought he/she would never see again...like the floor. Well, the office is clean, organized, and well-kept. So, now, I have plenty of room to store my brand new office equipment... my office perimeter fence made entirely of barbed wire; my
machine gun nest; my grenade launcher/espresso maker combo; and the three chipper doberman pinchers who are trained to reduce any intruder to skeletal remains within 10 seconds of hearing the attack command "Bill collector!"

So, if anybody is disgruntled about today's forecast, I invite you to stop by my office and we can discuss it. I'll be here all day.
*************************************************************************************

Let me preface this forecast by announcing that, well, Wednesday is going to be a nice day. A beautiful day. All day....guaranteed... Yes, indeed, expect about 28,800 entire seconds of nearly seasonable temperatures and sunlight.

Tonight, well, the situation changes a mite.

A particularly energetic storm system will crash into the region like a pack of enraged Spartans at a Persian picnic. Expect clouds to thicken and lower (clouds only lower when they're mad) and precipitation will begin before sunrise.

Now, we are certain that we'll receive a significant amount of precipitation. The real uncertainty is the type of precipitation. This time of year, our temperatures tend to be at or above freezing, so it is likely that this snow will change over to sleet and rain, or just rain, or all sleet or all snow, or some sleet, some snow, some rain, or all rain..or rain, sleet and freshly catapulted, plague-ridden medieval
Mongolians....and, well, you get the idea.

As it looks now, Southern Maine will receive 2-6" of heavy, wet snow.
The western mountains and central Maine might receive 8-12".

{NOTE: Many of the snow-related deaths are caused by people suffering heart attacks shoveling this type of snow. No, for once, we're not kidding. If you have a medical condition that puts you at risk, leave the snow ALONE!!!! It will melt by this weekend anyway. Stay inside and watch CSI re-runs. If we catch you outside shoveling, we'll send swarms of demonic furies over to your house to smite you with
wiffle ball bats and accordion music.}

The change over to rain will occur by early tomorrow afternoon and may turn back into snow by tomorrow evening.

As mentioned before, due to the uncertainty in the actual local temperatures, snow accumulation totals will vary and are exceedingly difficult to predict.

This powerful storm will end by Friday morning at the latest.

Saturday will have highs in the 50s and we expect a powerful all rain storm on Sunday.

Now, for the no-school predictions (God, am I going to get myself into trouble this time.)

Scale of 1 - 1000 (1 - You're going to school, even if you're onfire! 1000 - Schools are closed until the Universe implodes.)

Southern Maine...um.....ah....500

Central Maine.....ah...well....450

Northern Maine...ha ha ha ha ha......2 (there is always the possibility fissures will open all over Maine and swallow the schools whole.)



So, the turbulent early Spring weather continues.
But, look on the bright side....better snow than flaming embers.

Thank you, Mr. Gleason. A tip of my hat to you.

Are you talking about my vagina?

Thanks to Joel who found this on YouTube. We watched this in the office (not as training mind you), and lines from it still come up.

Seven musical acts that are conducive to good snogging

1. Jeff Buckley
2. Billie Holiday
3. Morrissey
4. Miles Davis
   
5. Amy Winehouse
6. Sam Cooke
7. Norah Jones (yes, some of you might laugh or turn up your elitist music noses at this -- but sometimes its just nice to have a good piano and female vocals laying down the mood for the mojo.)

Even grandmas are hip with the Spidey

For all those Peter Parker fangirls out there! Here is the link from Craftzine.com.

Seven of my geekiest crushes: a list in pictures

1. Egon,Ghostbusters: This may have been the beginning of it all. When
this movie came out -- I don't think I ever said he was my favorite for fear of being shunned.








2. Rupert Giles: I have gone on enough about him, but oh I could go on more.











3. John Hodgman, aka the PC Guy: Not only is he picked on in the commercials -- but he is witty, dry and an expert on everything as he proves on the Daily Show at times. And an expert on hobos.












4. Adam Savage, Mythbusters: I am giddy when I watch the show. Its pathetic! Seriously, it harkens back to the time when I would rewind scenes of "Scent of a Woman" with Joy in high school and swoon. But much more mature now... I swear.









5. Brian Krakow, My So-Called Life: I think this is where my letter writing obsession began. And I swear in my heart of hearts that he ended up with Angela... eventually.












6. Chris Funk: I really could list all of The Decemberists on here, but right now Chris Funk is the apple of my eye. Love a man who is confident in a hat, and the eyebrow is killing me.












7. Kevin Hearn, Barenaked Ladies: You would think Steven Page would be it -- glasses and the honeyed voice. But I like the meek and quirky Kevin Hearn. He just seems like he lives for the music and when speaks on the podcasts -- he is just so sweetly and shyly funny -- I love it.

Golf clap to Alanis

So I have to give Alanis major props. Not only is this cover great, but I love how the video so mismatches her and the whole tone of the way the song is sung. It's quite hilarious.

Common Rotation Living Room Tour

Literally one of the best and weirdest concert experiences that I have had - going to a concert in a living room in Saco.

Seven fictional characters I would like to work in my office

1. Pam Beesley, The Office
2. Jesus, The Bible (Water cooler into wine dispenser. Lobster bake -- I think that fish thing feeding everyone could extend into other various types of seafood. Nice days on every company picnic. And, snow days!)
3. Wash, Firefly
4. Bernard Black, Black Books (Everyone needs an office crazy, and hell, I know there would be a bottle of wine in his desk, just in case Jesus was out sick.)
   
5. Laura Roslin, Battlestar Galactica (She might have to be the boss.)
   
6. Jim Halpert, The Office (Seems obvious, but I think the Jim & Pam duo would make a boring work week exciting. And I cannot get enough of Jell-o gags.)
7. Rupert Giles, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Hey, I need an office crush, er... lets make that full blown romance. Cause honestly, would not want one in real life. But fictional work... let's turn off the computers and push everything off the desk in dramatic flourishes. Plus, I bet he would get his paper work done.)

Seven (possibly) irrefutable facts of my life

1. At a concert, I will always be right next to the drunk dancing chick and/or the person waving their cell phone in my face the entire time.
2. When I need a receipt at the gas station on the corner of Woodford and Brighton, it will always be out of paper. If I don't, it will print me one a half foot long.
3. I lose 1 out of every 10 socks I wear. Give or take.
4. At a wedding, I have a high probablity of sitting with the other gay people.
5. Jay and I will disagree about 1 in 5 movies we have seen.
6. At work, the phone will ring when I have just taken a bite of something noisy, like a granola bar.
7. Extreme Home Makeover makes me cry way, way too much.
   

Seven things people have told me I should try because they say I would like it, but really I know they are very, very wrong about me

1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Speed Dating
3. Desparate Housewives
4. Wearing more pink
5. The DaVinci Code
6. Wearing high heels
7. Owning a cat
   

300 as homoerotic? A different take from Dan Savage

I went and saw 300. On IMAX. And I liked it more than I thought I would. It was visually interesting, and the music was the kind that makes your heart beat follow it. But I have to admit while watching it -- the gender conscious person I am was not quite settled with the whole of it. And it was not until I read this from Dan Savage's advice column that it all clicked in:

Some feel the film is homophobic; some feel it's a conservative, pro-war piece of agitprop.

Homophobic? It's Ann Coulter on a meth binge.

The Persian army is an armed gay-pride parade, a threat to all things decent and, er, Greek. The king of the Spartans—among the most notorious boy-fuckers in all of ancient history—dismisses Athenian Greeks as weak-willed "philosophers and boy lovers." The Persian emperor? An eight-foot-tall black drag queen—mascara, painted-on eyebrows, pink lip gloss. Emperor RuPaul is positively obsessed with men kneeling in front of him. Why gay up the Persians? So that straight boys in the theater can identify with the Spartan king and his 300 soldiers—all of whom appear to have been recruited from and outfitted by the International Male catalog.

What isn't up for debate is the film's politics. The only times the Persian army doesn't look like a gay-pride parade in hell, it looks like a crowd of madly chanting Islamic militants. And if the Spartan king has to break the Spartan law to defend Spartan freedoms? Well, sometimes a king's gotta do what a king's gotta do. Because, as the queen of Sparta points out, freedom isn't free. And, yes, she uses exactly those words. George Bush is going to blow a load in his pants when he sees this movie.

Ricky Gervais talking about what is really important

Seven of the oddest pieces of dating advice I have ever heard

1. A woman is not a mountain, she can be moved. (That one is from my mom.)
2. If his car cost more than a year of his college education, he might be worth it.
3. His t-shirt was not THAT tight, there is a hint of straight in that.... right?
4. You can't date a painter if you are not pretty. They want to be able to paint like Picasso, not date some weird abstract ugly.
   
5. You just need to get out there. I hear church groups have tons of desparate men. Plus, you know they have to be literate to quote and read that bible.
6. Beware of a guy that smells their hands too much, you never know what they might be up to.
7. If they don't bring you soup when you are sick, they ain't ever gonna hold your hair back.
   

"Batman is an asshole"

Even lame superheroes have feelings too. Check out this from McSweeneys: The Personal Journal of Zan, Male Half of the Wonder Twins by Sean Hewlett.

Here is an excerpt:

January 24

New low today. As Black Lightning and Green Lantern were harassing Aquaman for lame superpower of talking to fish, he responded by saying, "At least I can do more than take the 'form of' an ice ladder!" and stormed out of the room. And he did that air-quote thing when he said "form of." Somehow, that made it much worse.

Yes, I totally stole this poll from Torrey -- but can you blame me?

Seven movies I would have been better off not seeing

1. 16 Blocks
2. Booty Call
3. Date Movie
4. Armageddon (Blogger note: This spot was formerly held by Minority Report, but Mr. Ham reminded me of this load of crap. If this were lists of eight, surely it Minority Report would still be on it.)
   
5. Runaway Bride
6. The Mirror has Two Faces
   
7. Matchpoint (Now some of you might argue that how does this wonder of a movie land on a list with the likes of the others... well quite frankly it was boring. I understand how some parts of it were artistic and wonderfully strung tight with tension. But break it down -- it was painful to watch. Pretty rich people with problems. Snore. Get over it. I wanted to hock all their outfits and fancy toys and send the money to charity and then turn their huge houses and lofts into centers for non-profit groups. Yeah, that is where my lefty heart takes me when I cannot empathize with people that are too beautiful and have too many people to sleep with. This girl ain't swooning for that shit.)
   

The Office quotation quiz

Try out this quiz. It put me to shame -- I did not do as well as I thought. I only scored a 20 -- but I would have gotten another right had I spelled something correctly. And I am Distracto Girl at work today -- and already wishing for season 3 to come out on DVD.

Scranton Style

I have to admit, I sometimes find these made music videos a little predictable and not edited well -- but man, my hats off to this one!

Seven movies I enjoy Tom Cruise in

1. Magnolia
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Seven of my favorite quotes from "The Office"

1. Jim: Congratulations Universe. You win.

2. Dwight: Whenever I’m about to do something, I think “would an idiot do that?” and if they would, I do not do that thing.

3. Phyllis: Bob Vance bought this perfume for me in Metropolitan Orlando. It’s made from real pine.

4. Dwight: Fear is what it’s all about. You cannot sell while undergoing fear. You need to vanquish fear! One must wrestle fear to the ground. You will now wrestle my cousin Mose!

5. Michael: Bro’s before ho’s. Why? Because your bro’s are always there for you. They’ve got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho. And you told her that she was the only ho for you and that she was better than all the other ho’s in the world. And then…and then suddenly she’s not your ho no mo’.

6. Pam: Please don't throw garbage at me.

7. Jim: This scented candle, andle, andle … which I found in the mens’ bathroom, room, room … represents the eternal … burning … of competition … or something.
Kevin: It smells like cookies.
Jim: Yes it does. Yes it does, my friend.

How Crayons are made

I remember this video so well as a kid. But I neglected to remember how creepy the old women in the factory were. And the severe editing mistake of the girl using the crayon in the beginning, looking at it and clearly seeing that it was worn, and then at the end, she puts an untouched crayon back in the box. Very fishy. But, still very cool. I think liking this show so much as a kid is what puts me into a trance when I was the Discovery show, How It's Made.

Seven topics I am unlikely to ever make a list of seven of

Seven:

1. Reasons why I like eating olives
2. Things that annoy me about sleeping
3. Reasons why Valentine's Day should be a federal holiday
4. Products I bought from QVC's Doll House power hour
5. People I have killed with a sniper rifle
6. Of my deepest darkest most shameful secrets
7. Words that rhyme with truck

Photo Scavenger Hunt

Because I love to make people do crazy things, I sent my sister a mission for when she went to see her boyfriend in NYC a month ago. Needless to say, the results were awesome. Here is a list of what she had to do and a few pics of the results.

Ideally one or both of you should appear in each picture. However – if the angle is just impossible, its ok. "Express this" items may portray a scene or emotion. And if you get to use props, even better.

• Express this: New York is the best place in the world!
• One of you looking really bored at someplace really cool
• One of you cross dressed
• Express this: One of you farted but does not want to admit it
• One of you sleeping somewhere odd
• Express this: I want to murder that stranger (should be done with an actual stranger in that picture.)
• Dentures
• Something that does not belong in NYC at all
• Express this: I think that stranger is a vampire!
• Someone wearing inappropriate clothing
• Pair of Sex in the City–type shoes
• Five oranges, a banana and two kiwis
• Express this: You lost your winning lottery ticket
• Your name on a sign
• Five pigeons – no more, no less
• An Irish bar/pub that does not start with Mc, Mac, or O
• Express this: I wish I was a dancer on Broadway
• Someone who looks like someone famous
• Express this: I think that stranger is wonderful.
• Twins
• The best place you ate at while you were there
• The tackiest thing you found at a street vendor
• Express this: Rebellion.
• A Red Sox fan – wearing something Red Sox
• Express this: Patriotic
• Foreign tourist taking a photo of something that is not worthy of a photo

If anyone wants a customized scavenger hunt list (and I can't promise that I will not repeat some of the above items, but will include some unique ones), let me know and I will send you one. I love digital cameras!

This Geek moment brought to you by Saucier Enterprises

Thanks to Saucier for this one. I have to say, this IS pretty awesome.


Update: According to Amazon.com a Princess Leia wig is in the top 10 worst Valentine's Day gifts to give. Clearly, they have no idea what they are talking about.

Whedon + The Office = Fangirl drool

Spoilery for funny, not for plot. And the drool, its a serious problem. Its embarrasing.

Seven reasons I adore Mythbusters

1. It's a great blend of creativity and science. Even though their on camera problem solving might be slightly staged, its still great to find out how they get to the answers. They explain science in a non-pretentious way.
2. They are very safety minded. I worry.
   
3. They unabashedly geeks and quite proud of it.
4. Explosions. I think I have always liked the huge explosions but never cared for the sophomoric plots and acting of the action flick genre. Mythbusters gives me the explosions I really crave. And they always add the oomph factor to it to make the explosions bigger and better. Fire good.
5. Kari does not shy away from the manual labor of things. She is slightly girly, but never shies away from getting dirty. You can tell she brings a little of the cupcake factor for the men (or anyone attracted to women that is), but she has the brain muscle to back that up.
6. The people on the show are all about good feedback -- and they congratulate their successes. I know, I had to make science warm and fuzzy somehow.
   
7. I am in love with Adam Savage. So much so that I find myself giggling like I did in Math class with my 8th grade crush. Horn rimmed glasses (oh the glasses!), the occasional Indiana Jones hat, goofy, creative, good with his hands, great smile, adorable freckles, slight fearlessness, funny voices... I swoon.
   

Seven things that just are not funny nor amusing about the February 12 issue of Coffee News

I am sure there are other regions that get Coffee News. The tan legal sized newsletter that is folded in half and found at many various small restaurants and shops. It has horoscopes, local business ads, trivia, odd stories, and the worst jokes that typically run the "My wife said it was either her or fishing. God I miss her"-kind of jokes. Yet, for as horrible as it is, I can't resist grabbing one when I see it. I am just a sucker for any kind of trivia.

1. Before drawing boards were invented, what did everybody go back to?
2. Tag lines are the bumper stickers of the 90's
3. The Cancer Horoscope: It may be a good idea to clean out those items in your fridge that have overstayed their welcome. (And all the Cancers out there just fell asleep)
4. If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
5. The Sagittarius horoscope: Someone who admires you will speak up. (Suspicious, right before Valentine's Day. And apparently the Sags are the biggest sad bastards of the lot)
6. Did you hear about the podiatrist who ran for mayor? He was defeated.
7. If nobody measures up, then check your yardstick.
   

Seven odd things from my dream journal

1. Matt R. was a stripper at a bowling alley
2. The clothing store sold garments soaked in blood -- cause it catered to vampires
3. I was kissing Matt Damon with peanut butter on our lips outside the UH staff office
4. We were very hungry and started eating pencil erasers, you know, just to fill the void.
5. I was Rebeeca Roman-Stamos and I had a breast with a blue nipple and I was sleeping with Austin Powers and then I was me again and lecturing Mike Myers on how his movies make me feel inadequate.
6. Then I flash to a party where the DJ is 97 and is sleeping at the board and no one can figure it out so I do.
7. Will Ferrell shakes my hand and tickles my arm.
   

Seven questions I usually want to know about people I know or have just met

1. When were you born?
2. What albums usually make it into heavy rotation when you listen?
3. What are you a geek about?
4. When I snort and laugh, is it annoying you?
5. What new thing can you teach/show me?
6. What book/movie/music recommendation can you give me?
7. Can I trust you?
   

Imitiation of Traci

One of the Stonecoast faculty would have his students do "imitations" of other poet's work. To try on a new style or form... their shoes in essence. I found myself writing this a few weeks ago, and realized it was an imitiation of the Traci Boztenka. (and Traci -- I think I just butchered the hell out of your beautiful Polish name) Traci is this wild wolf woman poet who writes these really primal sensual images that might seem alien to you at first -- but then the familiarity of what she is expressing at hits you later on. And you realized that you really have a little wolf howling away in you after all. So here is my imitation of Traci in very rough form.


You ask me questions.
I put the answers in petals
laid in the grass.
Punctuate with clover blushing
purple and sweet to the bees.
I hope you can read it
with your pebble stoned eyes.
I wait in the tree for you and your axe,
handle worn from your house's hands.
Cut me down. Splinter this home.
Burn it under Mars' eye unblinking in the dark.
This is what I need you to do.
Break this. Burn this.
Bury the ashes in my breast.

Seven places I like to eat at anywhere

1. Zebbs - Rochester, NY -- Its the place that has Chocolate Pespi and good burger-type foods.
2. The Friendly Toast - Portsmouth, NH
3. Northampton Brewery - Northampton, MA
4. Anthony's Bistro - Plattsburgh, NY
5. Chef's Corner Bakery Cafe - Williston, VT
6. Kenney House - Sandown, NH
7. Upper Crust Bake House - Fredonia, NY

Can you tell I am a little hungry this fine Monday work day?

Seven places I like to eat in the Greater Portland area

1. Silly's - Washington Ave, Portland
2. Fajita Grill - Main Street, Westbrook
3. Tandoor - Exchange Street, Portland
4. Ben Kay - Commercial Street, Portland
5. Flatbread Company - Commercial Street, Portland
6. Sebago Brewing -- Any location - Gorham, Portland, South Portland
7. Casa Novello - Main Street, Westbrook
   

Seven small things that can make me happy on the turn of a dime

1. A really good pen. Right now Bic Exact Tips are the bee's knees.
2. Wrapping my cold feet up in a blanket.
3. New episodes of my favorite shows.
4. This one may be deemed predictable by Mr. Ham -- finding out anything Joss related.
5. Laughing my arse off over old stories or even new ones.
6. Having a big chunk of time to read really good books or journals.
7. A great cup of coffee. Or a good beer or glass of wine. Those three are interchangeable I guess.
   

Black Shoe Diary= one of the best things to happen to ninjas since the color black

I have been on a McSweeney's kick lately, and I love the first installment of the Black Shoe Diary so much, that I was gleaming with joy when there was a second one posted today. I applaud you Eric Feezell.

Here is an excerpt:

BLACK SHOE DIARY:THE DAILY MUSINGSOF SHURUKU UMEZAWA: JUNIOR SALESMAN, NINJA

Tuesday, November 7

Sales work is often taxing. From what I have ascertained thus far, average day for salesperson consists of arriving to work 15 minutes late, talking to clients about "golf" (still have not learned what this is—sales tactic?—must research), strategically availing oneself of copious break time, and generally being a sycophant. I often become embarrassed when I realize that I am among masters. Especially Stan Friedman, who dodges responsibility as skillfully as I dodge detection when sneaking into an enemy fortress.

I sometimes miss the simple days of my past: Assassination, espionage, and inflicting excruciating pain employing pressure-point technique. Alas.

Read them for yourself:
Installment One

Installment Two

Seven great things made by my crafty hands

1. Sling-bags. Carrie has traveled the world with hers -- well at least to Africa and a classy Walmart. And better yet, I ripped off the pattern from Old Navy!
2. Geekillows -- or at least that is what I would like to call them (geek+ pillow= geekillow!)-- for Torrey and Tony. Torrey's was this city landscape with a godzilla like monster eating a car embroidered on it. Tony's had this robot on it with the four commands stitched on it: Dance, Work, Sleep and Destroy.
3. Magic wands for my first staff. Sure, they might have been a little weird, but I loved making them. Some were topped with a campfire or a palm tree.
4. Crocheted blankets. I have made some different ones for other friends, but my favorite one was the Harry Potter one I made for D-Lo.
5. Fake baby shower invite for my friend Adam. He neglected to tell me he was engaged and I got a wedding shower invite. So, I sent him a fake baby shower one titled: Guess who's knocked up?
6. Redfish collage/painting for Adam. I took little pieces of red paper and collaged it into a fish and then painted words he had written onto it. It looks different at night and in day light. It was an unintentional by-product.
7. Crochet hook case for my sister. It was green -- so I think she liked it.
   

Seven observations/thoughts I had while home sick yesterday

1. Most day time commericials are aimed at the sad bastard crowd: baldness, hair removal, weight loss, dating sites, and allergy meds. I am just saying.
2. Does the world really need 5 hours of "Charmed"? Come on TNT! Let it rest!
3. Carrie was very right -- jam on your toast and a little bit of scrambled egg on it is quite nice.
4. I automatically equate ginger ale with being sick -- but in the soothing way.
5. My mother told me once that I was pretty when I had a fever. Thanks mom.
6. I still do not understand how people get hooked into home shopping networks. The hosts are just so irritating. Maybe my cold meds were not strong enough.
7. Having "In the Womb: Animals" on while you are napping can lead to some pretty trippy dreams. I kept on dreaming I was a midwife to some friends who where having puppies.
   

Seven songs that will not leave my mental playlist

1. Poison - BelBivDevoe
2. That Time - Regina Spektor
3. Oh Valencia! - The Decemberists
4. I Wish I Could go Back to College - Avenue Q
5. Float On - Modest Mouse
6. Handbags and Gladrags - Rod Stewart
7. Chocolate - Snow Patrol
   

I dedicate this to Jay Lewis

yeasty \YEE-stee\, adjective:
1. Of, pertaining to, or resembling yeast.
2. Not yet settled or formed; immature or incomplete.
3. Marked by agitation or change.
4. Frothy or trivial; frivolous.
5. Full of vitality; exuberant.

On Dictionary.com, this was the word of the day. I have this as my home page, and its always interesting to see what words pop up. A recent favorite: foofaraw. (And 25 points to the person that can place that word in a TV show over the last 10 years. Without websearch! And go!) Many years ago I made Jay a mix tape -- and in my infinite class and fine tastes, I named it: Still Yeasty After All These Years. It may be my finest contribution to the musical world. Ever.

Seven months I would love to relive

1. July 1996 -- that summer after the first year of college was just filled with good friends hanging out and some minor drama. I just remember it being really fun and spending alot of time at Mendon Ponds. Plus I worked at Lima Rec -- and I always loved that.
   
2. April 1998 -- Fred Fest in junior year. I believe there was an "incident" involving a chinese buffet place.
   
3. July 2005 -- Stonecoast graduation. Hanging out with my writer friends, graduating, living like a leisurely and stressed out college student all over again. Getting to see Jay. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince came out. Kevin and Kelly visited Maine too.
4. May 1999 -- Graduation from Fredonia. Granted it was sad, but hell that week of just being with people that make me laugh and be just zany -- amazing. Plus I do remember just spending alot of time outside basking in the warm Fredonia air. This is also the time I had my friend Carley highlight my hair and I kept on telling her, "Take bigger chunks!" And my graduation pictures ended up with me having almost Barbie-yellow hair.
   
5. April 1999 -- month leading up to the afore mentioned month. I also think I had a massive sprained ankle -- but the bruise was kinda cool. Plus, Fred Fest this year -- I ended up wearing a cereal box on my head for part of it. Also at the party where Brian Lewis obtained THE Goblet.
   
6. July 2004 - 2nd Summer Stonecoast residency. Also good shennanigans with the Dream Team.
   
7. December 1979 -- My 3rd birthday and Christmas. The pictures looked like I loved life like it was my job then. Plus matching nightgowns for me and my doll!
   

Seriously, I am still recovering from geek news after shocks

Joss Whedon has just been added to the esteemed list of guest directors that will be stopping by the offices of Dunder Mifflin this season. (Source: Give Me My Remote)

Harold Ramis (who started my young infatuation with uber-geeks with glasses at a very young age), then J.J. Abrams, the master mind behing shows that are more addictive than crack (hmmm.... except for Felicity). Now Joss!!!! Oh my sweet good god. It is more than this fangirl can handle. Bring it on!

Seven things I have liked about SNL recently

1. The constant Alec Baldwin vs Steve Martin battles. It reminds me of classic SNL and its always refreshing to see those pop up.
2. Dick in a Box. The digital shorts are by far outshining the whole rest of the show.
3. Musical performance by Christine Aguilera. That new song I have already silently admitted was catchy. Her and her dancers were in very tailored black suits. Not only were they very classy, they were pretty damn hot. Even if her hair was still way too big.
4. Amy Poehler. I think that she is just classic -- almost all of her skits get a small titter from me.
5. Andy Samberg. His genius is in the aforementioned digital shorts -- but he is still pretty funny.
6. Justin Timberlake is a funny bastard on this show.
7. The Alec Baldwin carpooling sketch. It was pretty subtle -- but I did like the Celine Dion bit. I hate her just as much and I can just see myself saying that to someone who's life was saved by her as in that sketch. (can you tell I was stretching to get to 7?)
   

Seven words I wish were more a part of my daily vocabulary

1. plenipotentiary: absolute or full, as power
2. bricolage: something made or put together using whatever materials happen to be available
3. skulduggery: dishonorable proceedings; mean dishonesty or trickery
4. galumph: to move along heavily and clumsily.
5. bravura: a showy or brilliant display
6. neophyte: a beginner or novice
7. pettifogger: a person who quibbles over trivia.

And this may just be the year of the seven. Expect more lists of seven. It just seems high enough to not cop out with the top five (or be too much in the top five trend crowd) and just enough below ten so that I am not over burdened with thinking of a whole ten.

One more point for The Decemberists

Could this band be more my style?! They have an embroidery kit!!!!

Reasons why I did not write back.

I had not written back to someone in awhile, and I came up with this list -- and I am slightly proud of it.

1. I was trapped under a bookcase. I was reaching for the volume of Things Very Heavy That Would Throw off the Balance of Everything. And what do you know, it did.
2. My roommate's dog ate my homework.
3. I was attacted by an irate mall shopper at work. They whipped me with tinsel. I have intense fear of things shiny now.
4. Fell asleep, a la Rip van Winkle.
5. Ran away with a circus performer named Klaus. I have still not figured out what he does exactly, swords or flames or bendy things.... but oh how I have a weakness for the handlebar mustache.
6. Became a nun. All of that Catholic guilt I was raised with was finally too much, I gave it up years ago, but it came after me with a holy vengance. Plus I look damn fine in a wimple.
7. Egg nog poisoning. Too much eggy. Next time stick with just the nog.
8. Won the part of muggle extra #12 for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Have to practice looking British. They think I am. A little lying on a resume never hurt anyone, right George W?
9. Was locked up in Guantanamo for previous statement.
10. Agent over heard me singing in the car. Starting a mall tour to promote new teen sensation album. The first single out is, "Don't be dumb cause it makes you look pretty."

The best of Craigslist

Here is the whole list, but here are a sampling of my favorites:

I'm your Assistant, Not an Ass
...I am here to help you, I even enjoy helping you, but I will not put a roll of tape on the dispenser for you. Don’t tell me that you don’t know how, I know you do. I mean seriously, you have a Nobel Prize—work it out.


THANKS Jennifer
...You will have to provide him with new attire. You see after he stepped from our (now mine) shower this morning dripping wet and naked is when I discovered your little "love bites". It just so happened that at that EXACT moment a giant black hole appeared in my home and devoured almost all of his clothing. Therefore he will come to you almost naked (lucky you). The bright side is that you can dress him any way you want. Go nuts and buy him a leash and some vinyl attire or a cute little dress while your at it.


Open letter to sappy couples....
...Because I'm pretty sure that love doesn't protect my fingers from gouging out your puppy-dog eyes

Anyone ever been caught...
... it was like she didn't just catch me throttling myself with a mask and snorkel on. The rest of the evening went as normal. We had baked chicken and green beans for dinner, and then watched the simpsons.

To My Sexually Satisfied Neighbour.
...I'm looking forward to the next month of night shifts as it means I will be able to once again sleep in my own bed without the lusty sound effects intruding on my zzzzz's and making me painfully aware of my current monkish state. I might even volunteer for a second month of nights in the hope that you and Oh Baby will have gotten past this wildly exuberant intoxicating infatuation phase to something less hectic, more heart based and designed for long term love. Don't get me wrong, I want you to continue having wild passionate sex: just something more conducive to living beside neighbours who are not deaf.

Best word I have heard in a long time.

olla podrida \ol-uh-puh-DREE-duh; oy-uh-\, noun;
plural olla podridas /-DREE-duhz/ or ollas podridas:
1. A stew of highly seasoned meat and vegetables.
2. A mixture; a hodgepodge.

The Coolest 8 Year Old In The World Talks About O'Reilly

How can you argue with that passion?

Another outstanding email from Edward Gleason

This guy is the number one person I have gotten emails from that I have never met and really want to meet. He does these emails and newsletters from the USM planetarium. Here he is commenting on the unnaturally warm weather we had on the last day of November.

You're welcome

That is in response to the innumerable "thank you's!" we expect to receive for today's weather.

You're currently experiencing the last few drops of our "Essence of August" potion that we mixed up last night in our underground cauldrons.

Please attach thank you notes to roses, $10 bills, or bottles of CHATEAU MOUTON ROTHSCHILD 2000 and toss them down our stairwell.

We would hate to be so distraught over the lack of gratitude that we'd be forced to crack open a case of "Outage of February" potion sometime, um, tomorrow....

Hint.

Confrontation - How I Met Your Mother

Oh my word, I nearly did the little fan girl squeal. Yeah, its that bad kids.