Journey to the west:!

My sister, the Samantha, are traveling to California in four weeks. The journey begins in the hinterlands of Rochester, NY... well Positively Lima to be exact and ends in Santa Maria, CA.

In the past I have created photo scavenger hunts for people, and now I want you to help us create one. Some examples of photo scavenger hunt items from the past are:

• Express this: I think that stranger is a vampire!
• Someone wearing inappropriate clothing
  
• Five oranges, a banana and two kiwis
  
• Your name on a sign
  

So, are there any suggestions?

Poem by Ron Padgett

The Drink

I am always interested in the people in films who have just had a drink
thrown in their faces. Sometimes they react with uncontrollable rage,
but sometimes-my favorites-they do not change their expressions at all.
Instead they raise a handkerchief or napkin and calmly dab at the
offending liquid, as the hurler jumps to her feet and storms away. The
other people at the table are understandably uncomfortable. A woman
leans over and places her hand on the sleeve of the man's jacket and
says, "David, you know she didn't mean it." David answers, "Yes," but
in an ambiguous tone-the perfect adult response. But now the orchestra
has resumed its amiable and lively dance music, and the room is set in
motion as before. Out in the parking lot, however, Elizabeth is setting
fire to David's car. Yes, this is a contemporary film.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
This poem reminds me of Torrey. He is overly dramatic, you know.

7 Reasons I'm Happy to Be Back in Maine

In the grand Sara/Cookie tradition, here's a list of all the reasons I'm so pleased to be back in the great state o' Maine...

1. Great Hat Weather - As I've gotten older, I've come to appreciate the magic of hats... No matter how out of shape you get or how crappy your hair might be on any given day, a hat is the cure-all. In Maine, you can pretty much get away with Hat Experimentation from September well into April. And that pleases me.

2. The Beach!! Now that I'm back in the midcoast with my pups in tow, I have a ready excuse for beaching it any old time I please. Regardless of the weather, the ocean never fails to inspire me - get my juices flowing and my imagination in overdrive. Hooray for the Atlantic!

3. Family. Yes, they are indubitably insane and they make me that way most of the time, but there's just something about being around people who've known you since way back when that keeps you grounded. Of course, ask me in a couple of months just how much I love being around family again and I'm pretty sure you'll get an entirely different answer.

4. The Magpie. My niece. Eighteen months old, and still just shy of the twenty-pound mark. She pretty much rocks my world - seriously. Yesterday I taught her to wiggle her butt like she has fishy fins, and it was in all seriousness the cutest thing in the history of the universe. No joke.

5. Civilization. I never, ever thought I would refer to Thomaston, Maine, as civilization, but after spending nine months in a world with no bookstores, no music stores, no craigslist, and Confederate flags on every corner, Thomaston seems pretty damned hip.

6. The Second Read. Along the lines of embracing civilization once more, the cutest little used bookshop/cafe this side of Portland. I had my first (and last) espresso there, just out of high school. If you can't go to Powell's, I recommend Second Read.

7. FRIENDS! Hooray for the old gang! I've had the plague since hitting the Maine state line so have yet to spend quality time with anyone, but the fact that people I love and respect and with whom I have Great and Memorable Times are a short car ride away is fabulous in every way. Praise the Lord and pass the Lobstah, I'm back in the great Northeast!

Make me the happiest woman alive,and marry me Amy Sedaris....

Oh my word, Amy Sedaris AND Dolly Parton. Why has no one thought of this before.... good god, its genius! I have to admit, country music videos always have a story involved, and I think I like it. There was a Reba & Kelly Clarkson match up too that was... well ok, kinda overdramatic, but it caught my attention for the duration of the video.

Seven things for a successful holday season, according to me

1. Combinations of mint and chocolate offered frequently
2. Alternative versions of holiday songs by modern rock artists with a sprinkling of the Bing Crosby
   
3. Small but fun and/or meaningful gifts. Quality not quantity in number or expense. Bonus points to the handmade.
4. Light peeping -- taking drives especially to see all the decorated houses.
5. Long contemplative car ride home.
6. Many many many family members packed into small places with a light offering of holiday spirits, aka good vittles and liquor.
7. Letting yourself just enjoy the people and things you love. Yeah, cheesy, but I can't help it!
   

Seven more things I recommend

1. Clipping out recipes and putting them into a book. It makes you think you really MIGHT make them someday.
   
2. Waiting one moment before yelling out someone's name in a public place to recognize who they really are. That one second to mentally process might actually save you some embarrassment.
3. Heroes -- have you heard of this little indie show? I would have continued to have watching it last fall -- if someone had not feed into the problems I already had with it. If I had ignored them and just gave it a few more episodes -- those issues would have gone away. Instead... I listened like a bloody fool, and I am so behind. Curse you.
4. If you are a guy, wear a black sweater, red tie and white collared shirt. It looks frickin' sharp.
5. A really good spatula. It makes scraping the batter out of the bowl a very precise operation. Though it does not leave much for people who love to scrape the tasty stuff out of the rest of the bowl.
6. Kitchen Confidential - Anthony Bourdain. Usually, I hate cocky people. They remind me of being way to insecure in high school and its makes me uncomfortable. Though I have a weakness for Bourdain. I hear he is talented in the kitchen -- never having eaten his food, I can not attest for it. But this book is pretty damn close. I enjoy the way he does not dumb down the way he talks about food and techniques. He is honest and explains them as if you were at the table with him and telling you matter of factly with a wry twist. It is an interesting insight into the life of a chef.
7. Never order seafood on Mondays. Anthony told me so.
   

Zuda Comics

DC Comics' new webcomics site Zuda Comics launched this week, and they're having a pretty cool comic-off at the moment. Each month, ten editorially-chosen comics are pitted against one another and voted on by users; at the end of the month, one of the ten competitors is selected and given a one-year, 52-episode contract and $1000. Though there is some contention as to whether or not Zuda truly has the best interests of comic creators in mind, there's no question that it offers greater visibility to its winners. At the moment, my pal David Gallaher leads the pack with a gritty, western-horror- werewolf-tale (really) that I frankly was skeptical about but, it turns out, kind of love. You should check it out. And vote for it. I mean, you don't have to vote for it - you shouldn't feel obliged to, just because I said so. But if you wanted to, you absolutely should. And that's all I have to say on the subject.

Maine Woman Grows Third Boob From Elbow

Sorry, Sara... Paris is bound for Rwanda just as soon as the charity Playing For Good will have her; Hilton apparently had the trip scheduled and was all ready for some major do-gooding when the charity announced they had to restructure first. Restructure, re-schmucture... I think they're just trying to prepare the Rwandan people for yet another blow to their already-downtrodden country.