Monday, August 28, 2006
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Useless Ethical Problem #1
If you had a plate of food (the most mouthwatering food to you) appear next to you, from out of nowhere, would you eat it?
What if it was prepackaged?
What if it was prepackaged?
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
Office observation #1
The last two sips of office coffee always make me shiver and go "uuggghhh". Outside of the office coffee rarely make me do that. But, to its credit, office coffee does perk me up quicker than any other.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Goodbye Planet Pluto
This is an email I got on the USM Listserve from Edward Gleason. He writes the best emails to a list serve ever. Not only do I learn something, but I laugh all the way to the moon and back. I had to share this one!
From the USM Southworth Insanitarium
"Mental hygiene is woefully overrated"
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT E-MAIL YOU'LL RECEIVE ALL YEAR!!
We have been inundated by a deluge (as opposed to being inundated by a
trickle) of e-mails about two planets, Mars and Pluto.
OH, OOPS!!! I meant to write that we've received numerous e-mails
about one planet, Mars, and also about Pluto, which, as it turns out, is
not a planet at all, but has instead been classified by the
International Astronomical Union as a glorified frozen grapefruit.
But first, to Mars.
Although this assertion will be nearly impossible to believe, sometimes
the Internet can convey incorrect information...
Mars will NOT be at its closest distance to Earth on August 27, 2006.
Moreover, it will NOT appear to be as large as the full Moon.
First of all, Mars was at its closest distance to Earth in 60,000 years
on August 27, 2003. This was the Mars close approach that we hyped
beyond all proportion in an effort to make a profit that we hardly
deserved. And, believe me, if this were to happen this year, we'd be
hyping the event without relent again. (We'd be asking for volunteers
to wear Mars-shaped head gear and dance on
Forest Avenue)
Alas, Mars will be quite far away on August 27 and will hardly be
visible.
Secondly, if you ever look out your window and discover that Mars looks
as large as the Full Moon, the best thing to do is kneel down and pray
to something because our planet is about to take Mars right in the
thorax. Even at its closest approach, Mars looked basically like a
bright red star.
And now, to the
once-was-a-planet-and-now-is-well-we'll-think-of-that-when-the-pubs-open-again-
Pluto.
The International Astronomical Union has been gathered in Prague this
month to settle a few tricky matters. (1) Best colours for the new
robes (2) What to do about that troublesome Harry Potter and (3) Should
Pluto remain a planet.
Considering that the third question -the definition of Pluto- is the
most pressing issue confronting humanity today, the IAU decided to
concentrate their non-tavern hours on it. Initially, somebody proposed
an increase of the planets from 9 to 12. The three extra planets would
have been Ceres, a asteroid about the size of Texas; Charon, the one
satellite of Pluto; and Xena, a distant body found beyond the orbit of
Pluto. Very little is known about this body Xena apart from the back
that it is scantily-clad, speaks with a accent, and is violent at the
slightest provocation.
This idea was scraped because it seemed to be far too lax in its
definition. For instance, if Ceres, which is the size of Texas, could
be a planet then why couldn't, um, we dislodge California from Earth and
classify it as a planet? (Having California as its own planet certainly
would explain a lot.)
Well, finally, the International Astronomical Union opted to reduce
rather than expand....so now we have eight planets in our solar system.
MERCURY, VENUS, EARTH, MARS, JUPITER, SATURN, URANUS, NEPTUNE
Soon, we'll perform a ceremony in which we dispense with all the Pluto
as a Planet Propaganda that we've been pushing on children for years.
Join us later one as we toss it all out into the highway....along, by
the way, with all our Red Sox stuff!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Edward Gleason
check out this part 2: to the email
Well, you see, the dirty little secret of this whole thing is that,
well, we're all really embarrassed by odd little Pluto. None of us
want it in our family. Think of Pluto as being like freaky Uncle
Frank: the one who makes armpit noises for horror-struck prom dates,
tells jokes that could make the upholstery melt and who plays "Yes, We
have No Bananas" on his nose flute at the slightest urging (and in spite
of the ardent pleas of those who'd rather rip their ears off than hear
it again)
So, basically, Pluto is Uncle Frank and finally, after his latest
antics of belting out "Achy-Breaky Heart" at jet-engine volume during
little Melissa's 6th birthday party, is being brought with great haste
down into the fruit cellar.
So, at this very moment, you can hear Pluto's slightly intoxicated and
plaintive cries of "What do you mean I can't sing my song?!" as the
cellar door slams shut with a resounding bang.
From the USM Southworth Insanitarium
"Mental hygiene is woefully overrated"
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT E-MAIL YOU'LL RECEIVE ALL YEAR!!
We have been inundated by a deluge (as opposed to being inundated by a
trickle) of e-mails about two planets, Mars and Pluto.
OH, OOPS!!! I meant to write that we've received numerous e-mails
about one planet, Mars, and also about Pluto, which, as it turns out, is
not a planet at all, but has instead been classified by the
International Astronomical Union as a glorified frozen grapefruit.
But first, to Mars.
Although this assertion will be nearly impossible to believe, sometimes
the Internet can convey incorrect information...
Mars will NOT be at its closest distance to Earth on August 27, 2006.
Moreover, it will NOT appear to be as large as the full Moon.
First of all, Mars was at its closest distance to Earth in 60,000 years
on August 27, 2003. This was the Mars close approach that we hyped
beyond all proportion in an effort to make a profit that we hardly
deserved. And, believe me, if this were to happen this year, we'd be
hyping the event without relent again. (We'd be asking for volunteers
to wear Mars-shaped head gear and dance on
Forest Avenue)
Alas, Mars will be quite far away on August 27 and will hardly be
visible.
Secondly, if you ever look out your window and discover that Mars looks
as large as the Full Moon, the best thing to do is kneel down and pray
to something because our planet is about to take Mars right in the
thorax. Even at its closest approach, Mars looked basically like a
bright red star.
And now, to the
once-was-a-planet-and-now-is-well-we'll-think-of-that-when-the-pubs-open-again-
Pluto.
The International Astronomical Union has been gathered in Prague this
month to settle a few tricky matters. (1) Best colours for the new
robes (2) What to do about that troublesome Harry Potter and (3) Should
Pluto remain a planet.
Considering that the third question -the definition of Pluto- is the
most pressing issue confronting humanity today, the IAU decided to
concentrate their non-tavern hours on it. Initially, somebody proposed
an increase of the planets from 9 to 12. The three extra planets would
have been Ceres, a asteroid about the size of Texas; Charon, the one
satellite of Pluto; and Xena, a distant body found beyond the orbit of
Pluto. Very little is known about this body Xena apart from the back
that it is scantily-clad, speaks with a accent, and is violent at the
slightest provocation.
This idea was scraped because it seemed to be far too lax in its
definition. For instance, if Ceres, which is the size of Texas, could
be a planet then why couldn't, um, we dislodge California from Earth and
classify it as a planet? (Having California as its own planet certainly
would explain a lot.)
Well, finally, the International Astronomical Union opted to reduce
rather than expand....so now we have eight planets in our solar system.
MERCURY, VENUS, EARTH, MARS, JUPITER, SATURN, URANUS, NEPTUNE
Soon, we'll perform a ceremony in which we dispense with all the Pluto
as a Planet Propaganda that we've been pushing on children for years.
Join us later one as we toss it all out into the highway....along, by
the way, with all our Red Sox stuff!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Edward Gleason
check out this part 2: to the email
Well, you see, the dirty little secret of this whole thing is that,
well, we're all really embarrassed by odd little Pluto. None of us
want it in our family. Think of Pluto as being like freaky Uncle
Frank: the one who makes armpit noises for horror-struck prom dates,
tells jokes that could make the upholstery melt and who plays "Yes, We
have No Bananas" on his nose flute at the slightest urging (and in spite
of the ardent pleas of those who'd rather rip their ears off than hear
it again)
So, basically, Pluto is Uncle Frank and finally, after his latest
antics of belting out "Achy-Breaky Heart" at jet-engine volume during
little Melissa's 6th birthday party, is being brought with great haste
down into the fruit cellar.
So, at this very moment, you can hear Pluto's slightly intoxicated and
plaintive cries of "What do you mean I can't sing my song?!" as the
cellar door slams shut with a resounding bang.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Check out just how tiny you really are.
How do you feel now? Thanks to David Clark for these pictures. My mind was blown.
Best fall ever.
Falling. Digger. Tumble. Spill.
Whatever you want to call it, at approximately 6:50 I took the best one I have ever taken. And I am pretty sure I can be so bold to make that statement. Here is the sequence of events:
1. Saucier and I are walking down Exchange behind a trio of very slow older tourists who might have never walked on a brick sidewalk before. Granted, I am not one to talk.
2. Saucier gets impatient and decides to take a shortcut through and alley. I follow.
3. My foot trips on a lip in the sidewalk, thus the momentum begins. I take a few flying steps.
4. My comics and a bag of jam I bought for my mom go flying. This triggers Saucier that something is wrong.
5. First thought: “Oh no, my comics.”
6. Midflight I reach out for Saucier. I am seriously in mid air for at least an hour. Or three seconds. Semantics.
7. Saucier turns around, looks pissed then scared. He thinks someone shoved me and that I am being mugged.
8. Contact with pavement. I scrape the crap out of my right leg. Potential for bruises on the left upper arm, right palm, and left middle finger.
9. I lie on the ground, stunned and shaky. I sit up and look behind me. Behind me is a group of no less than 25 tourists, all in the LLBean variations of the middle age tourist uniform. They are all staring. Not moving, just staring.
10. Begin the hysterical laughter. I wave to them and tell them I am ok. They still stand like cattle.
11. I pick myself up, and examine my fabulous scrapes. And truly, they look tough.
12. Walk to the parking garage, and get in the elevator. Saucier and I are replaying the event over and over again.
13. In the elevator, a wet blanket of a woman walks in. We stop analyzing, but cannot stop laughing. I can’t stand the tension, and I explain to her, “ I just took a big fall and I can’t stop laughing about it.” To which she looks at me stonily, and then when the door opened up, she says “Is the floor I get off on?”
14. Driving away, we see the most boring woman in the world again on the corner of the street and she avoids our gaze, and thus we laugh even harder. She so saw us.
Whatever you want to call it, at approximately 6:50 I took the best one I have ever taken. And I am pretty sure I can be so bold to make that statement. Here is the sequence of events:
1. Saucier and I are walking down Exchange behind a trio of very slow older tourists who might have never walked on a brick sidewalk before. Granted, I am not one to talk.
2. Saucier gets impatient and decides to take a shortcut through and alley. I follow.
3. My foot trips on a lip in the sidewalk, thus the momentum begins. I take a few flying steps.
4. My comics and a bag of jam I bought for my mom go flying. This triggers Saucier that something is wrong.
5. First thought: “Oh no, my comics.”
6. Midflight I reach out for Saucier. I am seriously in mid air for at least an hour. Or three seconds. Semantics.
7. Saucier turns around, looks pissed then scared. He thinks someone shoved me and that I am being mugged.
8. Contact with pavement. I scrape the crap out of my right leg. Potential for bruises on the left upper arm, right palm, and left middle finger.
9. I lie on the ground, stunned and shaky. I sit up and look behind me. Behind me is a group of no less than 25 tourists, all in the LLBean variations of the middle age tourist uniform. They are all staring. Not moving, just staring.
10. Begin the hysterical laughter. I wave to them and tell them I am ok. They still stand like cattle.
11. I pick myself up, and examine my fabulous scrapes. And truly, they look tough.
12. Walk to the parking garage, and get in the elevator. Saucier and I are replaying the event over and over again.
13. In the elevator, a wet blanket of a woman walks in. We stop analyzing, but cannot stop laughing. I can’t stand the tension, and I explain to her, “ I just took a big fall and I can’t stop laughing about it.” To which she looks at me stonily, and then when the door opened up, she says “Is the floor I get off on?”
14. Driving away, we see the most boring woman in the world again on the corner of the street and she avoids our gaze, and thus we laugh even harder. She so saw us.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Weird
I have to admit, this one got to me. This is not an animation. Its just your eyes moving it. Damn crazy eyes.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Note worthy - Found Magazine
So, I got a lovely email from the even lovelier Jennie Forbes yesterday. She was reading FOUND II and saw a submission that I sent in. It was a stolen computer poster with some very small fine print on it. I discovered I was in the book when I went to go see Davy Rothbart speak and I bought the second book right before hand. I was looking through it with Becky and I exclaimed, "Holy crap! That's mine!" It was quite a thrilling experience. Since then I have sent in quite a few finds -- and I am keeping my eyes peeled.
Jennie Forbes said this was blog worthy, and indeed she is right.
Jennie Forbes said this was blog worthy, and indeed she is right.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
Sara Recommends
Man on Fire
Ok, usually the violent, stick dynamite up a guy’s rear kinda movie is not the kind I really like. But tell you what, Man on Fire delivered and then some. I really dug this one way more than I thought I would. It had interesting effects and camera moves. It was intriguing. I was in suspense the whole time – I was yelling at the TV, just trying to ease the tension. I can’t watch those kind of movies by myself – better to watch them with someone who has seen them already so I can talk through it, just to ease my nerves. Plus, that Dakota Fanning just gets right to the snuggle bear portion of your heart while still being unnervingly mature.
16 Military Wives – The Decemberists
Not only is this song catchy, it’s also brilliant. I sometimes feel like there are too many songs that are about love and how fucking wonderful it all is. Bleecchhh. This song is catchy, intelligent, and not formulaic.
Hitting the Northeast Heat Wave with two women from Duke
They just laughed at me. They said it would be just like them getting 3 inches of snow and calling it a blizzard. It don’t care, it was still frickin’ hot.
Brussel Sprouts
I think they get a bad rap. Not only are they odd looking, but they are quite tasty. I think they are the geeks of the vegetable world. And that is not a cool group to begin with!
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
I am about half way through this, but it is pretty intriguing. I think Six Feet Under whetted my curiosity for what happens after death. This gets more into the nitty gritty. Bodies donated for science research and how that has impacted us. There is even a university that holds a memorial service for its cadavers it uses for their gross anatomy lab. It is respectful and honest and important. Will I donate my body after reading this? Hmm…. I am still skeptical though.
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
“I piss excellence.” So, do I need to say more?
Ok, usually the violent, stick dynamite up a guy’s rear kinda movie is not the kind I really like. But tell you what, Man on Fire delivered and then some. I really dug this one way more than I thought I would. It had interesting effects and camera moves. It was intriguing. I was in suspense the whole time – I was yelling at the TV, just trying to ease the tension. I can’t watch those kind of movies by myself – better to watch them with someone who has seen them already so I can talk through it, just to ease my nerves. Plus, that Dakota Fanning just gets right to the snuggle bear portion of your heart while still being unnervingly mature.
16 Military Wives – The Decemberists
Not only is this song catchy, it’s also brilliant. I sometimes feel like there are too many songs that are about love and how fucking wonderful it all is. Bleecchhh. This song is catchy, intelligent, and not formulaic.
Hitting the Northeast Heat Wave with two women from Duke
They just laughed at me. They said it would be just like them getting 3 inches of snow and calling it a blizzard. It don’t care, it was still frickin’ hot.
Brussel Sprouts
I think they get a bad rap. Not only are they odd looking, but they are quite tasty. I think they are the geeks of the vegetable world. And that is not a cool group to begin with!
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
I am about half way through this, but it is pretty intriguing. I think Six Feet Under whetted my curiosity for what happens after death. This gets more into the nitty gritty. Bodies donated for science research and how that has impacted us. There is even a university that holds a memorial service for its cadavers it uses for their gross anatomy lab. It is respectful and honest and important. Will I donate my body after reading this? Hmm…. I am still skeptical though.
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
“I piss excellence.” So, do I need to say more?
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