The top 10 most in-demand college majors:
1. Accounting
2. Electrical engineering
3. Mechanical engineering
4. Business administration/management
5. Economics/finance
6. Computer science
7. Computer engineering
8. Marketing/marketing management
9. Chemical engineering
10. Information sciences and systems
Source: Job Outlook 2005 survey, conducted by the National Association of Colleges and Employers
Does anyone else find this a little creepy?
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Oh John Cleese!
UK revocates Independence
John Cleese's Letter to the USA
To the citizens of the United States of America, in light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II resumes monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.8% of you who have, until now, been unaware there's a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America. Congress and the Senate are disbanded. A questionnaire circulated next year will determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Check "aluminium" in the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you pronounce it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Likewise you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary." Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you should not have chat shows.
2. There is no such thing as "U.S. English." We'll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.
3. You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as 'Taggart' will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.
5. You should stop playing American "football." There's only one kind of football. What you call American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays "American" football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.
Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).
You should stop playing baseball. It's not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
6. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.
7. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
8. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't French, they're Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer." Substances once known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
11. The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon, get used to it).
12. Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you're not adult enough to be independent. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
13. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
14. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation.
* John Cleese
[Basil Fawlty, Fawlty Towers, Torquay, Devon, England]
(Thanks to Shannon on this one!)
John Cleese's Letter to the USA
To the citizens of the United States of America, in light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II resumes monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.8% of you who have, until now, been unaware there's a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America. Congress and the Senate are disbanded. A questionnaire circulated next year will determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Check "aluminium" in the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you pronounce it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Likewise you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary." Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you should not have chat shows.
2. There is no such thing as "U.S. English." We'll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.
3. You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as 'Taggart' will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.
5. You should stop playing American "football." There's only one kind of football. What you call American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays "American" football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.
Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).
You should stop playing baseball. It's not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
6. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.
7. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
8. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't French, they're Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer." Substances once known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
11. The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon, get used to it).
12. Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you're not adult enough to be independent. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
13. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
14. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation.
* John Cleese
[Basil Fawlty, Fawlty Towers, Torquay, Devon, England]
(Thanks to Shannon on this one!)
Questions ago-go: Kath Kohler answers
1. Tell us about one of the best Kohler family traditions/quirks.
Best traditions would include the Kohler Christmas party Trivial Pursuit Battle; the ping-pong tournaments between my sisters, dad, and I; and going to PennState football games together. These are great traditions because theyinvolve much laughter and are relaxing and fun times. Quirks, the best one is probably how my dad and youngest sister do impressions of the Ladies Man, including words uttered such as "I'd like to thank the lord for my superiorwang". Considering they do this often, and at inopportune times (ie in church) makes it quite quirky and hysterical at the same time.
2. A pharmacist has 8 liters of a 15 percent solution of acid. How muchdistilled water must she add to reduce the concentration of acid to 10percent?
Well, let's see. Currently, .8+.4, so currently 1.2 liters ofyour solution is acidic. So, to make that equal to 10% of your solution, you need 12 total liters. Therefore 4 liters of water need to be added to your current 8 liters solution. And why does a pharmacist have acid anyways?
3. If your life/moment in your life were to be summed up in one music video:what would the song be, who would be in it, who would direct it, etc.?
It'd be a mega mix of songs including:
Sittin on the Dock of the Bay (Otis Redding) - friends (including Cookie) sitting around on a nice day relaxing
You are the sunshine of my life (Stevie Wonder) - future Kath with husband and kids
Girls just wanna have fun (Cyndi Lauper)- my girlfriends from high school and college and sisters going nuts
Let the good times roll (Cars)- again, all of us sitting around relaxing and having fun on a nice day
Theme from Rocky. Just because I love it and it inspires me. What can I say I am a Philly gal.
4. What is one of your funniest stories?
Just one? I guess the time that Meg and I almost got caught stealing liquor out of her parents liquor cabinet down the shore. It cannot be written as well as it is told, as Jay will attest to, so you'll have to come to Philly and have Meg and I tell it to you. It is sufficient to say that we both were nearly grounded for an entire summer but thanks to some quick thinking were able to avoid it.
5. Why is Penn State so cool in your eyes?
Penn State is cool to me because I had so much fun while I was there. When I go back it brings back happy memories, a time of freedom, good friends, not much stress (at least not real stress). I learned a lot about myself there. Also, my idea of a perfect fall Saturday is tailgating with family and friends, grilling out, playing catch with a football, going into the game and watching (great atmosphere- win or lose), and then out to dinner.
6. If the Trading Spaces people were to do a room for you, what could theyput in there that would make you so upset that you wished they never did it?
A coffin. A picture of Michael Bolton. Anything having to do with snakes. A statue of Jay Lewis. A strobe light.
Best traditions would include the Kohler Christmas party Trivial Pursuit Battle; the ping-pong tournaments between my sisters, dad, and I; and going to PennState football games together. These are great traditions because theyinvolve much laughter and are relaxing and fun times. Quirks, the best one is probably how my dad and youngest sister do impressions of the Ladies Man, including words uttered such as "I'd like to thank the lord for my superiorwang". Considering they do this often, and at inopportune times (ie in church) makes it quite quirky and hysterical at the same time.
2. A pharmacist has 8 liters of a 15 percent solution of acid. How muchdistilled water must she add to reduce the concentration of acid to 10percent?
Well, let's see. Currently, .8+.4, so currently 1.2 liters ofyour solution is acidic. So, to make that equal to 10% of your solution, you need 12 total liters. Therefore 4 liters of water need to be added to your current 8 liters solution. And why does a pharmacist have acid anyways?
3. If your life/moment in your life were to be summed up in one music video:what would the song be, who would be in it, who would direct it, etc.?
It'd be a mega mix of songs including:
Sittin on the Dock of the Bay (Otis Redding) - friends (including Cookie) sitting around on a nice day relaxing
You are the sunshine of my life (Stevie Wonder) - future Kath with husband and kids
Girls just wanna have fun (Cyndi Lauper)- my girlfriends from high school and college and sisters going nuts
Let the good times roll (Cars)- again, all of us sitting around relaxing and having fun on a nice day
Theme from Rocky. Just because I love it and it inspires me. What can I say I am a Philly gal.
4. What is one of your funniest stories?
Just one? I guess the time that Meg and I almost got caught stealing liquor out of her parents liquor cabinet down the shore. It cannot be written as well as it is told, as Jay will attest to, so you'll have to come to Philly and have Meg and I tell it to you. It is sufficient to say that we both were nearly grounded for an entire summer but thanks to some quick thinking were able to avoid it.
5. Why is Penn State so cool in your eyes?
Penn State is cool to me because I had so much fun while I was there. When I go back it brings back happy memories, a time of freedom, good friends, not much stress (at least not real stress). I learned a lot about myself there. Also, my idea of a perfect fall Saturday is tailgating with family and friends, grilling out, playing catch with a football, going into the game and watching (great atmosphere- win or lose), and then out to dinner.
6. If the Trading Spaces people were to do a room for you, what could theyput in there that would make you so upset that you wished they never did it?
A coffin. A picture of Michael Bolton. Anything having to do with snakes. A statue of Jay Lewis. A strobe light.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Whedon Considering Affleck as Wonder Woman
In a bold move by newly announced writer/producer of the Wonder Woman movie, Joss Whedon revealed he's considering Ben Affleck for the leading role.
"It's no secret that female superhero movies don't fare well at the box office, " commented Whedon at the Comic Book Convention in Los Angeles. "We have to take movies like 'Elektra' and 'Catwoman' and learn from them.
"Whedon, who has been approached by every actress from Brittany Murphy to Lucy Lawless to play the role of America's most beloved female superhero, says they're not ready to make the final decision.
"Obviously, we're looking for an Amazonian Princess, so that rules out most of the female actors in Hollywood. We need someone who's big and strong. I see no other option than to cast Ben Affleck. Besides, he was fantastic in DareDevil." said Whedon as he doodled Affleck in red, gold, and blue spandex.
Not everyone is excited about the prospect of Affleck playing Wonder Woman. In fact, some people are downright skeptical.
"I don't see how they're going to make Ben look like a woman." commented David Boreanaz. "There are tons of possible actors that could play Wonder Woman. Take, for example, me. I'm big and tall, too. I could be Wonder Woman. I could, I really could."
Warner Brothers has been considering a Wonder Woman movie for several years; however, they were not able to come up with a plot.
"I want to bring a new approach to the Wonder Woman adventures. Maybe something a little more 'in the now'." explained Whedon. "I'm still working out the details, but maybe Ben, or whoever we choose, doesn't have to look like a woman. Maybe Wonder Woman was really a woman trapped in a man's body. Maybe Wonder Woman is a gorgeous six-foot transvestite. All I know is we have a ways to go on the script."
Affleck's agent refused comment at this time, but did say they will contact us if Ben accepts the role. Also considered for the leading role are Josh Hartnett, Keanu Reeves, and Morgan Freeman.
(from: http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s4i7743)
Hiiiiiiilarious. (say that like Jerri Blank would)
"It's no secret that female superhero movies don't fare well at the box office, " commented Whedon at the Comic Book Convention in Los Angeles. "We have to take movies like 'Elektra' and 'Catwoman' and learn from them.
"Whedon, who has been approached by every actress from Brittany Murphy to Lucy Lawless to play the role of America's most beloved female superhero, says they're not ready to make the final decision.
"Obviously, we're looking for an Amazonian Princess, so that rules out most of the female actors in Hollywood. We need someone who's big and strong. I see no other option than to cast Ben Affleck. Besides, he was fantastic in DareDevil." said Whedon as he doodled Affleck in red, gold, and blue spandex.
Not everyone is excited about the prospect of Affleck playing Wonder Woman. In fact, some people are downright skeptical.
"I don't see how they're going to make Ben look like a woman." commented David Boreanaz. "There are tons of possible actors that could play Wonder Woman. Take, for example, me. I'm big and tall, too. I could be Wonder Woman. I could, I really could."
Warner Brothers has been considering a Wonder Woman movie for several years; however, they were not able to come up with a plot.
"I want to bring a new approach to the Wonder Woman adventures. Maybe something a little more 'in the now'." explained Whedon. "I'm still working out the details, but maybe Ben, or whoever we choose, doesn't have to look like a woman. Maybe Wonder Woman was really a woman trapped in a man's body. Maybe Wonder Woman is a gorgeous six-foot transvestite. All I know is we have a ways to go on the script."
Affleck's agent refused comment at this time, but did say they will contact us if Ben accepts the role. Also considered for the leading role are Josh Hartnett, Keanu Reeves, and Morgan Freeman.
(from: http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s4i7743)
Hiiiiiiilarious. (say that like Jerri Blank would)
Questions ago-go: Kath Kohler
Yes, I know it is the long awaited event. You know the drill Kath, especially because you send me the answers to other people's questions, email me your answers and I will post.
1. Tell us about one of the best Kohler family traditions/quirks.
2. A pharmacist has 8 liters of a 15 percent solution of acid. How much distilled water must she add to reduce the concentration of acid to 10 percent?
3. If your life/moment in your life were to be summed up in one music video: what would the song be, who would be in it, who would direct it, etc.?
4. What is one of your funniest stories?
5. Why is Penn State so cool in your eyes?
6. If the Trading Spaces people were to do a room for you, what could they put in there that would make you so upset that you wished they never did it?
1. Tell us about one of the best Kohler family traditions/quirks.
2. A pharmacist has 8 liters of a 15 percent solution of acid. How much distilled water must she add to reduce the concentration of acid to 10 percent?
3. If your life/moment in your life were to be summed up in one music video: what would the song be, who would be in it, who would direct it, etc.?
4. What is one of your funniest stories?
5. Why is Penn State so cool in your eyes?
6. If the Trading Spaces people were to do a room for you, what could they put in there that would make you so upset that you wished they never did it?
Sara Recommends 5
Winking
I think it is one of my favorite facial gestures. From the exagerated Will Ferrell wink to the subtle mischevous wink, it is hands down adorable. Plus, at times it can be very mysterious.
Recreating holidays with friends
Easter has never been a big deal for me. It is not one of those I-need-to-be-home kinda deals. When you are a kid it's fun because of the bunnies and hollow chocolate and easter baskets and the plastic grass that gets stuck in your peanut butter cups and the cadbury eggs and all of that. But when you are older, and don't really do the whole Christ thing.... it loses its meaning. So thus, I am going to a Chinese buffet. As I told Saucier, "Nothing says Christ died for my sins like a pupu platter."
Beer in a wine glass
Anything is a wine glass is just more fun. Not to mention classy and sexy as hell. I love the traditional pint glass, but hell, you could put some PBR in a wine glass and it's refined.
Ginger
I will always be a sucker for my citrusy-scents, and Love Spell will always be my standby, but as of late I have a warm spicy aroma that has been bewitching me. Ginger is now the scent of choice. It's hard to find sometimes, and I have yet to find it in one product that I really like. Its comforting yet a little exotic and biting. Plus, I like the idea of kissing someone and having left a ginger imprint on them.
Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, Amy Krouse Rosenthal
Amy, as I like to call her, writes in short bursts, and then collects them all in a way that is very refreshing. In The Book of Eleven, she put them all in quirky lists of eleven. In Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, she creates an encyclopedia of her experiences and observations. It's humorous, poignant, and a great read.
http://www.encyclopediaofanordinarylife.com/
Gods and Monsters
I have not watched this movie in a few years, and it was great to rediscover it. Believe it or not, Brendan Frasier can act! And, Sir Ian McKellan, how I adore thee. He is stunning in his pain and his humor. And I never would have given a second thought to Vanessa Redgrave, but she is pathetic and witty as the housekeeper who condemns and loves her master. This movie is just beautiful, and subtely so. It does not go for the over the top, it goes to the moments of the human core without bleeding all over you. Bill Condon, director of Kinsey, wrote and directed this film.
My Funny Valentine
Some people might read this and think, "I know she hates Valentine's day, and prefers to wear black and support the Frankenstein Day movement (see: Ham, Torrey)." But this is one of my favorite songs ever. Like maybe top 10. Or at least top ten songs I love no matter who covers it (i.e.: "Halleluia" or "Tangled up in Blue"). But this song makes me want to find that love. I know the person I finally give up my cynical side for is going to be that quirky person that I find more precious than anything. That person who never needs to try to make me light, they just have to walk into the room and they flip that little light switch in me. It has not happened. Maybe I have tricky wiring, or my bulb needs to be changed... but it has not happened yet. Blah, blah, blah.... being bitter and single does not make me unique, so moving on...
The song ends with "Each day is Valentine's Day", which I agree with. Not the going to an expensive dinner, dozen red unnatural roses, and lots of pressure kinda Valentine -- but that simple expression of love that is at the core of what it is supposed to mean. You don't need a day -- it should happen all the time. This moment of cheesy expression is brought to you by Geary's Summer Ale.
I think it is one of my favorite facial gestures. From the exagerated Will Ferrell wink to the subtle mischevous wink, it is hands down adorable. Plus, at times it can be very mysterious.
Recreating holidays with friends
Easter has never been a big deal for me. It is not one of those I-need-to-be-home kinda deals. When you are a kid it's fun because of the bunnies and hollow chocolate and easter baskets and the plastic grass that gets stuck in your peanut butter cups and the cadbury eggs and all of that. But when you are older, and don't really do the whole Christ thing.... it loses its meaning. So thus, I am going to a Chinese buffet. As I told Saucier, "Nothing says Christ died for my sins like a pupu platter."
Beer in a wine glass
Anything is a wine glass is just more fun. Not to mention classy and sexy as hell. I love the traditional pint glass, but hell, you could put some PBR in a wine glass and it's refined.
Ginger
I will always be a sucker for my citrusy-scents, and Love Spell will always be my standby, but as of late I have a warm spicy aroma that has been bewitching me. Ginger is now the scent of choice. It's hard to find sometimes, and I have yet to find it in one product that I really like. Its comforting yet a little exotic and biting. Plus, I like the idea of kissing someone and having left a ginger imprint on them.
Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, Amy Krouse Rosenthal
Amy, as I like to call her, writes in short bursts, and then collects them all in a way that is very refreshing. In The Book of Eleven, she put them all in quirky lists of eleven. In Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, she creates an encyclopedia of her experiences and observations. It's humorous, poignant, and a great read.
http://www.encyclopediaofanordinarylife.com/
Gods and Monsters
I have not watched this movie in a few years, and it was great to rediscover it. Believe it or not, Brendan Frasier can act! And, Sir Ian McKellan, how I adore thee. He is stunning in his pain and his humor. And I never would have given a second thought to Vanessa Redgrave, but she is pathetic and witty as the housekeeper who condemns and loves her master. This movie is just beautiful, and subtely so. It does not go for the over the top, it goes to the moments of the human core without bleeding all over you. Bill Condon, director of Kinsey, wrote and directed this film.
My Funny Valentine
Some people might read this and think, "I know she hates Valentine's day, and prefers to wear black and support the Frankenstein Day movement (see: Ham, Torrey)." But this is one of my favorite songs ever. Like maybe top 10. Or at least top ten songs I love no matter who covers it (i.e.: "Halleluia" or "Tangled up in Blue"). But this song makes me want to find that love. I know the person I finally give up my cynical side for is going to be that quirky person that I find more precious than anything. That person who never needs to try to make me light, they just have to walk into the room and they flip that little light switch in me. It has not happened. Maybe I have tricky wiring, or my bulb needs to be changed... but it has not happened yet. Blah, blah, blah.... being bitter and single does not make me unique, so moving on...
The song ends with "Each day is Valentine's Day", which I agree with. Not the going to an expensive dinner, dozen red unnatural roses, and lots of pressure kinda Valentine -- but that simple expression of love that is at the core of what it is supposed to mean. You don't need a day -- it should happen all the time. This moment of cheesy expression is brought to you by Geary's Summer Ale.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Questions ago-go: Torrey answers
First of all, I apologize for the length of this but I got in a groove and I just went with it.
1. Which fictional world do you wish you could live in?
This answer is probably going to surprise most people who know me, particularly Cookie, but I’m going to say the world of Harry Potter. The main reason this is my choice is that I would love to live in a world with all of today’s modern technology existing along with magic. My initial instincts went toward Lord of the Rings, but who am I kidding…they didn’t even have electricity and I’m a gadget whore. Plus I’m a lover not a fighter. I like the possibilities magic opens up and I think the world would be far more interesting if it actually existed.
2. Why is Walmart evil?
Wal-mart is evil because it forces small establishments out of business due to the fact that they can’t compete with their enormous corporate-powered girth. It also spreads across the country like locusts, leaving a wake of destruction and heartache behind it. I think I read once that Wal-mart’s ultimate goal is for someone to be within 20 minutes of a Wal-mart store no matter where they are in the country. In Lincoln, where I grew up, Wal-mart moving to town lead to the closing of a half dozen privately-owned businesses on main street alone- one of them being Images Bookstore where I purchased all my reading material, from Michael Crichton to MAD Magazine, since I was knee-high to a comic book. Hannah, if you should stumble across Cookie’s blog, you were the greatest bookstore clerk a boy could ask for. Thanks for all those Terry Brooks special orders.
3. Favorite childhood toy.
I’m gonna go with Legos on this one- simply because they spawned so much creativity. I had a lot of Transformers, Masters of the Universe figures and Ninja Turtles, but your imagination can only go so far with those. Legos offered a lot more flexibility. In fact, I would incorporate Legos into my action figure adventures. The sinister Shredder would kidnap April O’Neal, placing her in a make-shift Lego prison that the Turtles would have to break her out of. Plus any Lego invention was instantly made cooler with the addition of snap-on wheels. When talking to parents, I’m pleased to hear that Legos are still popular among the kids today.
4. Name five movies you are looking forward to coming out this year and why.
This looks to be a pretty solid year for movies, so I’m going to double Cookie’s quota and list off 10 movies I’m looking forward to this year.
-Batman Begins
I’ve already said this to some of my friends- Chris Nolan could make this entire movie with hand puppets and it would still be better than Batman & Robin. Joel Schumacher, I know you’re a brotha and all but damn did you make some horrible, horrible Batman movies. Since no one has been able to forget those awful sequels, this movie shouldn’t have too hard of a time winning over the fans. Starting fresh with Batman in his first years is a smart move, and it looks like they’ve put together a strong cast (Gary Oldman looks exactly like the younger Jim Gordon from the comics). I’m betting this one will come together in a nice package.
-Strangers with Candy
It’s no secret how much I adore the show and I’ll take more Strangers in any way, shape or form I can get it. With the entire cast returning I have no doubts that it will be friggin hilarious from start to finish.
-Charlie and the Chocolate Factory/Corpse Bride
What a year to be a Tim Burton fan! CATCF sounds like it’s coming along very nicely- in an interview with John August, the screenwriter, he said that about 90% of the book will be in the film. Timmy was the only director that could get approval to make the film from the Dahl estate and I am very excited to see his take on the wacky tale. Then later in the year Tim’s latest stop-animation film Corpse Bride is coming out- just in time for Halloween. It pleases me to no end that in this time when computer animation is all the rage, people haven’t abandoned other art forms like claymation. Artistic talent should be expressed in as many forms as possible, I say!
-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
I thought The Sorcerer’s Stone was pretty good and that The Chamber of Secrets was only okay, but boy howdy did they get me hooked with The Prisoner of Azkaban. Alfonso Cuaron put together what may be the most visually pleasing ‘children’s’ movie I’ve ever seen. And the addition of Gary Oldman didn’t hurt things either. It looks like they are going to reel me in again with Goblet since I just read that Miranda Richardson and Ralph Fiennes have joined the troupe.
-Serenity
Anyone who has seen Firefly knows what horrible injustices were done to it, mostly from the juggernaut that was reality TV at the time the show debuted. I’m hoping the film does extremely well to show Fox what they missed out on. At the very least I hope Serenity does well enough to warrant a couple of sequels. They made a smart move pushing the release from April to September so that it wouldn’t be overshadowed by a certain other science fiction movie which you might notice is absent from my list.
-The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
I’ve never read the book, but the trailer to this film looks fantastic. Plus it has Sam Rockwell and Alan Rickman and I’ll watch those guys in anything. They also used gigantic Jim Henson puppets for a number of the aliens, rather than relying completely on CG creatures. I’m definitely down with the JH.
-War of the Worlds
Spielberg hasn’t ever really done a big budget, end-of-the-world disaster movie before so I’m curious to see what he does with Worlds. His movies tend to be more confined. Only teaser footage has been shown at this point so I’m not exactly sure what to expect, but I don’t often bet against Senior Spielbergo.
-The Brothers Grimm
With crazy movies like 12 Monkey and Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas under his belt, I’m eager to see what Terry Gilliam does with the Brothers Grimm fairytales. My husband, Matt Damon, stars in it along with Heath Ledger, so at the very least I’ll have eye candy.
-Wallace & Gromit
Oh how I love their entertaining little claymation shorts. If you’re keeping score that’s two stop-animation films coming out in 2005! I’ve been a W&G fan since junior high and I feared the characters may have been retired, until I read about their first full-length feature film coming out this fall! If you’ve never seen the collection of W&G shorts, you owe it to yourself to pick up the DVD. You’ll never look at penguins the same way again.
-King Kong
Peter Jackson is directing it. That’s all anyone needs to know.
5. If you could have your dream cast for a movie, who would you pick and what kind of movie would it be?
The film would be a comedic murder mystery along the lines of Clue and would feature an obscenely talented cast comprised of Joan Cusack, Sir Ian McKellen, Amy Sedaris, Matt Damon, Johnny Depp, William H. Macy, Gary Oldman, Catherine O’Hara, Alan Rickman, Julianne Moore, Nathan Lane, Jennifer Coolidge, David Cross, Bill Murray, Peter Sarsgaard, John Cusack, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Frances McDormand, Jeff Goldblum, Jude Law, Patricia Clarkson, Christopher Walken, Sam Rockwell and Jeffrey Tambor. The following year, this film would be recognized at the Oscars for having the ‘Greatest Ensemble Cast Ever.’
1. Which fictional world do you wish you could live in?
This answer is probably going to surprise most people who know me, particularly Cookie, but I’m going to say the world of Harry Potter. The main reason this is my choice is that I would love to live in a world with all of today’s modern technology existing along with magic. My initial instincts went toward Lord of the Rings, but who am I kidding…they didn’t even have electricity and I’m a gadget whore. Plus I’m a lover not a fighter. I like the possibilities magic opens up and I think the world would be far more interesting if it actually existed.
2. Why is Walmart evil?
Wal-mart is evil because it forces small establishments out of business due to the fact that they can’t compete with their enormous corporate-powered girth. It also spreads across the country like locusts, leaving a wake of destruction and heartache behind it. I think I read once that Wal-mart’s ultimate goal is for someone to be within 20 minutes of a Wal-mart store no matter where they are in the country. In Lincoln, where I grew up, Wal-mart moving to town lead to the closing of a half dozen privately-owned businesses on main street alone- one of them being Images Bookstore where I purchased all my reading material, from Michael Crichton to MAD Magazine, since I was knee-high to a comic book. Hannah, if you should stumble across Cookie’s blog, you were the greatest bookstore clerk a boy could ask for. Thanks for all those Terry Brooks special orders.
3. Favorite childhood toy.
I’m gonna go with Legos on this one- simply because they spawned so much creativity. I had a lot of Transformers, Masters of the Universe figures and Ninja Turtles, but your imagination can only go so far with those. Legos offered a lot more flexibility. In fact, I would incorporate Legos into my action figure adventures. The sinister Shredder would kidnap April O’Neal, placing her in a make-shift Lego prison that the Turtles would have to break her out of. Plus any Lego invention was instantly made cooler with the addition of snap-on wheels. When talking to parents, I’m pleased to hear that Legos are still popular among the kids today.
4. Name five movies you are looking forward to coming out this year and why.
This looks to be a pretty solid year for movies, so I’m going to double Cookie’s quota and list off 10 movies I’m looking forward to this year.
-Batman Begins
I’ve already said this to some of my friends- Chris Nolan could make this entire movie with hand puppets and it would still be better than Batman & Robin. Joel Schumacher, I know you’re a brotha and all but damn did you make some horrible, horrible Batman movies. Since no one has been able to forget those awful sequels, this movie shouldn’t have too hard of a time winning over the fans. Starting fresh with Batman in his first years is a smart move, and it looks like they’ve put together a strong cast (Gary Oldman looks exactly like the younger Jim Gordon from the comics). I’m betting this one will come together in a nice package.
-Strangers with Candy
It’s no secret how much I adore the show and I’ll take more Strangers in any way, shape or form I can get it. With the entire cast returning I have no doubts that it will be friggin hilarious from start to finish.
-Charlie and the Chocolate Factory/Corpse Bride
What a year to be a Tim Burton fan! CATCF sounds like it’s coming along very nicely- in an interview with John August, the screenwriter, he said that about 90% of the book will be in the film. Timmy was the only director that could get approval to make the film from the Dahl estate and I am very excited to see his take on the wacky tale. Then later in the year Tim’s latest stop-animation film Corpse Bride is coming out- just in time for Halloween. It pleases me to no end that in this time when computer animation is all the rage, people haven’t abandoned other art forms like claymation. Artistic talent should be expressed in as many forms as possible, I say!
-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
I thought The Sorcerer’s Stone was pretty good and that The Chamber of Secrets was only okay, but boy howdy did they get me hooked with The Prisoner of Azkaban. Alfonso Cuaron put together what may be the most visually pleasing ‘children’s’ movie I’ve ever seen. And the addition of Gary Oldman didn’t hurt things either. It looks like they are going to reel me in again with Goblet since I just read that Miranda Richardson and Ralph Fiennes have joined the troupe.
-Serenity
Anyone who has seen Firefly knows what horrible injustices were done to it, mostly from the juggernaut that was reality TV at the time the show debuted. I’m hoping the film does extremely well to show Fox what they missed out on. At the very least I hope Serenity does well enough to warrant a couple of sequels. They made a smart move pushing the release from April to September so that it wouldn’t be overshadowed by a certain other science fiction movie which you might notice is absent from my list.
-The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
I’ve never read the book, but the trailer to this film looks fantastic. Plus it has Sam Rockwell and Alan Rickman and I’ll watch those guys in anything. They also used gigantic Jim Henson puppets for a number of the aliens, rather than relying completely on CG creatures. I’m definitely down with the JH.
-War of the Worlds
Spielberg hasn’t ever really done a big budget, end-of-the-world disaster movie before so I’m curious to see what he does with Worlds. His movies tend to be more confined. Only teaser footage has been shown at this point so I’m not exactly sure what to expect, but I don’t often bet against Senior Spielbergo.
-The Brothers Grimm
With crazy movies like 12 Monkey and Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas under his belt, I’m eager to see what Terry Gilliam does with the Brothers Grimm fairytales. My husband, Matt Damon, stars in it along with Heath Ledger, so at the very least I’ll have eye candy.
-Wallace & Gromit
Oh how I love their entertaining little claymation shorts. If you’re keeping score that’s two stop-animation films coming out in 2005! I’ve been a W&G fan since junior high and I feared the characters may have been retired, until I read about their first full-length feature film coming out this fall! If you’ve never seen the collection of W&G shorts, you owe it to yourself to pick up the DVD. You’ll never look at penguins the same way again.
-King Kong
Peter Jackson is directing it. That’s all anyone needs to know.
5. If you could have your dream cast for a movie, who would you pick and what kind of movie would it be?
The film would be a comedic murder mystery along the lines of Clue and would feature an obscenely talented cast comprised of Joan Cusack, Sir Ian McKellen, Amy Sedaris, Matt Damon, Johnny Depp, William H. Macy, Gary Oldman, Catherine O’Hara, Alan Rickman, Julianne Moore, Nathan Lane, Jennifer Coolidge, David Cross, Bill Murray, Peter Sarsgaard, John Cusack, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Frances McDormand, Jeff Goldblum, Jude Law, Patricia Clarkson, Christopher Walken, Sam Rockwell and Jeffrey Tambor. The following year, this film would be recognized at the Oscars for having the ‘Greatest Ensemble Cast Ever.’
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
My job is never boring
From the Portland Press Herald
USM building evacuated
GORHAM — Safety officials evacuated a University of Southern Maine dormitory and offices Monday after school postal staff discovered a suspicious envel- ope. The envelope was mailed from Gaza, via Israel, but was not addressed to anyone who works at or attends USM, school spokesman Bob Caswell said. The 9-by-12-inch envelope also contained a bulky object, had excessive postage, was addressed with block letters and misspellings and did not contain the required international customs stamp, USM Police Chief Lisa Beecher said.
The package was discovered in midmorning. State and local police as well as federal authorities were called, as was the Gorham Fire Department and the state's weapons of mass destruction civil support team. After chemical scans and X-rays determined the package was not an immediate threat, it was taken to the Maine State Police crime lab for further analysis, Caswell said.
Officials evacuated Upton-Hastings Hall, which houses the postal service, the police department and dormitory housing for 280 students, about 1:30 p.m. and allowed people to return 90 minutes later, Caswell said.
Yeah, so that is my home. Its amazing to stand up on top of the hill diverting people from the building and picturing it being blown up a la Jerry Bruckheimer.
USM building evacuated
GORHAM — Safety officials evacuated a University of Southern Maine dormitory and offices Monday after school postal staff discovered a suspicious envel- ope. The envelope was mailed from Gaza, via Israel, but was not addressed to anyone who works at or attends USM, school spokesman Bob Caswell said. The 9-by-12-inch envelope also contained a bulky object, had excessive postage, was addressed with block letters and misspellings and did not contain the required international customs stamp, USM Police Chief Lisa Beecher said.
The package was discovered in midmorning. State and local police as well as federal authorities were called, as was the Gorham Fire Department and the state's weapons of mass destruction civil support team. After chemical scans and X-rays determined the package was not an immediate threat, it was taken to the Maine State Police crime lab for further analysis, Caswell said.
Officials evacuated Upton-Hastings Hall, which houses the postal service, the police department and dormitory housing for 280 students, about 1:30 p.m. and allowed people to return 90 minutes later, Caswell said.
Yeah, so that is my home. Its amazing to stand up on top of the hill diverting people from the building and picturing it being blown up a la Jerry Bruckheimer.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Questions ago-go: Torrey
Torrey, please answer the questions and I will post them on the blog. Cross posting to your blog is allowed.
1. Which fictional world do you wish you could live in?
2. Why is Walmart evil?
3. Favorite childhood toy.
4. Name five movies you are looking forward to coming out this year and why.
5. If you could have your dream cast for a movie, who would you pick and what kind of movie would it be?
1. Which fictional world do you wish you could live in?
2. Why is Walmart evil?
3. Favorite childhood toy.
4. Name five movies you are looking forward to coming out this year and why.
5. If you could have your dream cast for a movie, who would you pick and what kind of movie would it be?
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
